HippieMommy

posted by amanda on May 11

The older that my kids get, the less that I am worried about “socialization”. I went to a mix of public and private schools. My dh was homeschooled up until 7th grade and then went to private school. I never even considered homeschooling before my children were born, because I thought that the way that I was raised was the best way. Meeting my husband definitely changed my mind on that one Today I was reading some more Charlotte Mason while at the park with my kids, and I really loved this section on children with their peers.

The Society of his Equals too stimulating for a child.––Let us follow the little person to the Kindergarten, where he has the stimulus of classmates of his own age. It certainly is stimulating. For ourselves, no society is so much so as that of a number of persons of our own age and standing; this is the great joy of college life; a wholesome joy for all young people for a limited time. But persons of twenty have, or should have, some command over their inhibitory centres. They should not permit the dissipation of nerve power caused by too much social stimulus; yet even persons of twenty are not always equal to the task of self-management in exciting circumstances. What then, is to be expected of persons of two, three, four, five? That the little person looks rather stolid than otherwise is no guarantee against excitement within. The clash and sparkle of our equals now and then stirs up to health; but for everyday life, the mixed society of elders, juniors and equals, which we get in a family, gives at the same time the most repose and the most room for individual development. We have all wondered at the good sense, reasonableness, fun and resourcefulness shown by a child in his own home as compared with the same child in school life.

I love this.  It is so true.  Why is it that our country has become so fixated on the thought that healthy development can only come by being surrounded by people only your own age?  John Taylor Gatto addresses this in his book, Dumbing Us Down, and I wrote about it once before.

Discovering meaining for yourself as well as discovering satisfying purpose for yourself, is a big part of what education is. How this can be done by locking children away from the world is beyond me.

Yesterday I went to the library and saw the vast number of books in the collection that were devoted to getting kids excited about going to Kindergarten.  It was really really sad.  Kids aren’t made to be taken away and taught by their peers just because they turned 5.  Now that my son is 5, I am feeling more sure about this than ever.

posted by amanda on Apr 3

Today as I was reading in Home Education by Charlotte Mason, I was thinking about how many different parents (including myself) now shy away from the word “obedience”. So many of the less desirable parenting styles have taken it over, and so it is hard to use it and still convey the proper message. I realized that I tend to use other words in place of obedience because of this. The section that I read today really reminded me that it is all in how you use it. I really like how Charlotte Mason approaches it as the child’s responsibility to obey, and not our job to make them obey. This is very much in agreement with grace based discipline She has a couple of points that I’d slightly rework, but hey, the text is 100 years old, so I can see how there could be some difficulty communicating.

Charlotte Mason says

It is said that the children of parents who are most strict in exacting obedience often turn out ill; and that orphans and other poor waifs brought up under strict discipline only wait their opportunity to break out into license.

Um yeah, totally true.

Exactly so; because, in these cases, there is no gradual training of the child in the habit of obedience; no gradual enlisting of his will on the side of sweet service and a free-will offering of submission to the highest law: the poor children are simply bullied into submission to the will, that is, the wilfulness, of another; not at all, ‘for it is right‘, only because it is convenient.

I am so glad that she addresses this. The fact is that many of the popular Christian parenting philosophies are all about bullying into submission and forcing the child to do it, not of their own free-will. This can never last. If the child is not choosing it for themselves, then why would they continue doing it when they no longer have to?

There is no need to rate the child, or threaten him, or use any manner of violence, because the parent is invested with the authority which the child intuitively recognises. It is enough to say, ‘Do this,’ in a quiet, authoritative tone, and expect it to be done. The mother often loses her hold over her children because they detect in the tone of her voice that she does not expect them to obey her behests; she does not think enough of her position; has not sufficient confidence in her own authority.

Yes, yes, yes. I find this so true in my own voice. When I am calm and respectful, so are my children. If I am getting flustered or upset, then my kids don’t have a calm role model anymore and they start following in my bad habits. I was sitting around watching moms today while I was at a drop-in Kindergarten for my kids, and I was struck by how true this is. It is true amongst the teachers, the parents, anyone in authority. Those who spoke calmly and were clear of what they expected had no problem with the children following through. Those who seemed to be asking the child a question did not get the same results.

Like I said, I don’t take every word of Charlotte Mason like the Bible. Even still, I think that her beliefs, especially considering how old they are, are very sound and impressive. As I mentioned above, I would choose not to use the word “obey”/”obedience” because of the negative connotations that it now has for so many people, but I also realize that when she wrote this it wasn’t the same problem. She gives me a lot of food for thought though. Most of it is not “new”, but rather a gentle encouragement that I am on the right track. That is so perfect, since that is what we are to do for our children as well

posted by amanda on Mar 13

Man, this pregnancy has been hitting me hard. I feel like an amoeba. I am tired all the time… well, except when I’m throwing up. I am getting too old for this!

So please forgive me for my lack of updates. I’ve hardly even been reading. It is pathetic!

The one (adult) book that I have finished was Teach a Child to Read with Children’s Books. My son already knew basic phonics, and we played around with Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons last year, so we had a bit of a base, but we are both loving this new method. There is something so much more satisfying for him when he reads an actual book and not something nonsensical like “Fat pat sat on a rat. Rat, Pat, rat!” People don’t even talk like that.

I highly recommend Teach a Child… if you are interested in a more literature-centered reading curriculum. It has been so lovely for us. The book lists in the back are great and if you need (or want) to keep records then he has some great sheets in there that you can print off. We checked it out from the library, so it was easy on the budgt and even Compact-friendly.

Well, I’m off to make dinner and probably throw up again. I’m sure I’m making you all jealous. <rolling my eyes>

posted by amanda on Sep 27

How Would Jesus Raise a Child?
By: Teresa Whitehurst

Matthew 5

The Beatitudes

1Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, 2and he began to teach them saying:
3“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.11“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Confession time: I’ve never really gotten the Beatitudes. I mean, I understand them, but I don’t think I’ve really strived to live them. Much on the contrary, I’ve used the more to help myself feel better in bad times. For example, when I was mourning, I thought “‘Blessed are those who mourn’, so this isn’t totally a bad thing.” I did NOT think “‘Blessed are those who mourn.’ I should mourn more in my regular life!

Right now I am reading through Dr. Teresa Whitehurst’s How Would Jesus Raise a Child, and her chapter on the Beatitudes is making me think. She says

If you want to become more like Jesus as a person and a parent, the Beatitudes are a wise and easy place to begin.

So then she gives some examples of the way Jesus lived the Beatitudes and the way that the world lives. She says, for example, that Jesus tells us that when you’re gentle (meek), not harsh with others, you will inherit the earth. The world’s view is “Show ‘em who’s boss. You gotta be cruel to be kind.”, etc.

OK, so I understand what she’s saying there. Like I said, I don’t think I’ve done much striving to live them, but I get her point. I’ve always thought more about the Love verses or the fruits of the Spirit, etc.

Then she starts talking about exactly the same thing as Charlotte Mason. I discussed it in my Trains of Thought entry. She says that humans have a hard time with change and are actually immune to it. The same thing CM said! Go figure

…it short-circuits our goals. We want to lose weight, but can’t seem to overcome our immunity to change in the area of eating habits. We want to be more patient with our toddler but our “immune system” kicks in, preventing us from trying a new, calmer method for handling fussiness.

So now I’ve read this twice in two weeks. Maybe God is trying to tell me something She goes on to give a great example

When I was getting used to my laptop, it took me several days to unlearn the placement of the keys on my familiar old desktop computer. Some moves were so ingrained that I actually had to cover certain keys with tape so as not to hit them accidentally, erasing my work each time! So it goes with the challenging internal changes for which Jesus promised blessings and rewards in the Beatitudes. They will require that we “tape over” certain habitual ways of thinking and behavior so that we can begin to learn and use what Jesus taught. It may feel awkward at first, but if you inhibit your usual ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving, eventually you will find that Jesus’ teachings are not impossible to incorporate in your life after all.

I like the way that she built on the same ideas as CM. I like her example. I’ve experienced the same thing with a new keyboard, and I’ve also experienced that same difficulty when trying to change a bad habit. The fact is that you get used to the new way of life if you just stick with it.

This also reminded me of when I first bought my new glasses. My dh is going through the same thing right now, so I can really empathize. I have progressive lenses. I have the strongest prescription at the bottom for reading, a moderate prescription for mid-distance (like the computer), and hardly any prescription at all for distance. For the first week or two, I felt terrible with these glasses. I kept getting dizzy. I was getting stabbing pains in my brain. It seemed bad. Then one day I could see and my brain had figured out which part of the glasses to look through for different activities. Now I can’t live without them!

I think I need to apply some of these same principles in my life.

So the last point that I wanted to discuss is her interpretation of Matthew 5:48 (”You, therefore, must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect”. This is a tough verse. We know we can’t be perfect. That’s why we need God. So what gives?

I used to worry about this instruction. Then, after further study, I realized that Jesus didn’t say, “So be as perfect as God.” To say this would be to imply that we are on equal footing with God, with equal powers of perfection. Rather, what Jesus was urging his listeners to do was to take his teachings seriously and strive towards the ideal that God represents.

I’m off to digest this some more. I’m sure I’ll write about it again!

posted by amanda on Sep 17

Charlotte Mason’s Original Homeschooling Series
By: Charlotte Mason
From Home Education by Charlotte Mason (from the chapter “Habit is Ten Natures”)

…it is as if every familiar train of thought made a rut in the nervous substance of the brain into which the thoughts run lightly of their own accord, and out of which they can only be got by an effort of will.

I’ve been studying a lot about habit training and discipling recently. I really love Charlotte Mason’s descriptions of habits. Here she speaks of an older child who should “know better”, but was never trained properly and as such his brain now naturally functions in the other way.

And to correct bad habits of speaking, for instance, it will not be enough for the child to intend to speak plainly and to try to speak plainly; he will not be able to do so habitually until some degree of new growth has taken place… whilst he is making efforts to form the new habit.

Any sequence of mental action which has been frequently repeated, tends to perpetuate itself; so that we find ourselves automatically prompted to think, feel, or do what we have been before accustomed to think, feel, or do, under like circumstances, without any consciously formed purpose or anticipation of results.

I know how true this is as an adult, even when we “know better”. If we have trained ourselves to habitually perform a bad habit, it is an effort to behave differently. I am just now considering how early these habits are formed and how much easier life will be for my children if they are already used to the good habits rather than having bad ones they have to break.

posted by amanda on May 13

These past few days have been very interesting for me. My mom has really been encouraging me in my decision to home school, and it has been a great time of growth

I am reading through Susan Schaeffer Macaulay’s For the Children’s Sake, and this quote described what I’ve been feeling as I’ve researched home schooling and Charlotte Mason in particular.

If I had a second childhood, I should like to be educated her [Charlotte Mason's] way in school. To be respected as a person, to be provided for richly with ideas from outside, and yet to be left to develop myself, according to my own inner resources. All of this within the firm framework of reality. Skills mastered, and yet a feast of interesting ideas to which one could react in one’s own way.

I agree. My parents did a beautiful job in raising me and giving me so many of these things, and I look forward, and pray for the opportunity and ability to continue to give my children the same and much more!

posted by amanda on Mar 28

I’m sure that this would be no big deal to most people, but I am totally proud of myself!

My family and I were out hiking on Gold Camp Road up to the Seven Bridges trail (pictured below)

and we heard a bird (which I now know was a steller’s jay). We followed the sound as it perched in a tree and we each noted things about it that made it stand out. It was blue, crested, perched, and made a “chook chook chook” sound. I went home and logged onto eNature and entered in our region, the type of bird that it was (perched) the area it lived in (woodland) and the color…. and up popped 12 birds. There was only one that was crested and it made a “chook chook chook” sound. I was so excited! I added it to my sighting list that they have on there and gave myself a nice pat on the back.

Now I think I want a nature journal just like the kids! Why should they have all of the fun? I want a CM education too!

posted by amanda on Mar 15

Sorry for the delay in entries! Last Monday night I prayed that God would help me balance my time. When I woke up Tuesday, my computer was dead Lucky me, eh? I’m blogging this from my dh’s computer…

Today, during my massive amounts of time thanks to my lack of computer, I read some more in Home Education. It was pretty chilly this morning (in the 30s when we were out there), but with a jacket and if we stayed in the sun, it was really quite comfortable. I found a nice spot on the grass and started reading. This is my quote for the day

Mental Training of a Child Naturalist.–Consider, too, what an unequalled mental training the child-naturalist is getting for any study or calling under the sun–the powers of attention, of discrimination, of patient pursuit, growing with his growth, what will they not fit him for? Besides, life is so interesting to him, that he has no time for the faults of temper which generally have their source in ennui; there is no reason why he should be peevish or sulky or obstinate when he is always kept well amused.

(Ennui = A feeling of weariness and dissatisfaction arising from lack of interest; boredom.)

I really loved this quote. It is so true that my kids only get “peevish… sulky… obstinate” when they are stuck inside or doing things that are not meant for children (without any time in the day for childish things). When children are left to explore, learn, and interact with the world in their own way, they do amazingly. As Charlotte says elsewhere

Overpressure.–A great deal has been said lately about the danger of overpressure, of requiring too much mental work from a child of tender years. The danger exists; but lies, not in giving the child too much, but in giving him the wrong thing to do, the sort of work for which the present state of his mental development does not fit him. Who expects a boy in petticoats to lift half a hundredweight? But give the child work that Nature intended for him, and the quantity he can get through with ease is practically unlimited. Whoever saw a child tired of seeing, of examining in his own way, unfamiliar things? This sort of mental nourishment for which he has an unbounded appetite, because it is that food of the mind on which, for the present, he is meant to grow.

So true. So true. I was just telling my mom the same thing the other day. It is amazing to me that this has been written for so long, and yet the “modern” educational system seems to miss this. As I look to my left and right and see parents who are so concerned if their 3-year-olds are not yet in formal preschool, it makes me roll my eyes. How much more are my children learning just from playing in the grass, investigating nature, playing with water, painting the things they see, and being normal kids? Why take that away? Will your children really be better off because they had a few extra years of workbooks? I doubt it.

posted by amanda on Feb 16

I’d love to hear what some of you think about this quote. It is from Charlotte Mason and is included in Volume 1 “Home Education”

As for this superior morality of some non-believers, supposing we grant it, what does it amount to? Just to this, that the universe of mind, as the universe of matter, is governed by unwritten laws of God; that the child cannot blow soap bubbles or think his flitting thoughts otherwise than in obedience to divine laws; that all safety, progress, and success in life come out of obedience to law, to the laws of mental, moral or physical science, or of that spiritual science which the Bible unfolds; that it is possible to ascertain laws and keep laws without recognising the Lawgiver, and that those who do ascertain and keep any divine law inherit the blessing due to obedience, whatever be their attitude towards the Lawgiver; just as the man who goes out into blazing sunshine is warmed, though he may shut his eyes and decline to see the sun. Conversely, that they who take no pains to study the principles which govern human action and human thought miss the blessings of obedience to certain laws, though they may inherit the better blessings which come of acknowledged relationship with the Lawgiver.

This paragraph has made me think. I have several that I wanted to discuss, but this seemed like a good place to start.

It is true that the man who goes into the sun receives the sun’s benefits, even if he doesn’t believe. Also, one can believe without knowing the law-giver. I guess I’ve just never thought about the idea of unbelievers being blessed for their law-abiding actions. So many in the world choose to reject God because He sends unbelievers to hell. I’m guessing that Ms. Mason is referring only to earthly blessings, but I wish she could’ve expounded more. I find this a very interesting pattern of thought. I need to find some scripture to back up or refute these things…

posted by amanda on Feb 9

I think my mom was naturally very Charlotte-Mason-minded I’ve started working my way through Home Education, and I am really loving it. I am realizing how much my mom focused on the same things that Charlotte encourages. We spent a lot of time outside, had limited tv time, did lots of reading, and my mom worked hard to instill the proper habits in us.

I know that I am just at the tip of the iceburg, so I am trying to implement one little thing at a time Right now I am focusing on making sure that my kids get a good amount of time outside to play, learn, and just be kids Both of them are naturally drawn to being outside, so this has certainly been an easy thing to do. It is really amazing to watch them play and learn out there.

Our regular outside time was probably for an hour or so every other day. It varies depending on the time of the year, and this time of year is probably a low-point for us, since it is pretty chilly out. I’ve been working on letting them have more time outside, even if they are doing more observing than playing (like by walking to the store instead of driving), and it is so fun to see what they notice in the world around them.

I’ve also been working on Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. My son has been having a blast with it. He just turned 4 last week, and I think that his young age is helping a bit. He calls it the “reading game”, and I’ve worked hard to make sure that it is fun and that there is no pressure. If I see it start to become any kind of a burden, then I’ll back off, but for now he thinks it is great. He has always loved books, and now he’s having fun sounding out the words and running his finger under them Its really cute.

Well, I need to go make a grocery list. I didn’t get to do my regular Grocery Game shopping this week, so now I bet it’ll be way more expensive. Oh well, Sunday was our Superbowl party and then I had class Monday and Tuesday, so it was just too hectic. I guess I’ll get some good practice in making my own list…