HippieMommy

posted by amanda on Sep 10

Joe and I have been doing a lot of thinking recently on simplifying our lives. We took some huge steps last year, and now we’re re-evaluating the “untouchables” from last year - internet service on our phones, multiple computers, satellite tv… We’ve both been convicted about the fact that many of these items take more from us than they give. Its so easy to buy into the idea that these things make your life better, but if they cause you to withdraw and go off on your own, is it really better?

Don’t get me wrong, we love our modern conveniences, but it just seems too easy to surf the internet for hours and then feel rushed into making dinner and cleaning, and then exhausted when I go to bed.  I don’t feel that way if I use that extra time to do things more slowly and with more intention.  

I was reading my Bible a few days ago and came across one of those little built-in devotionals. I’m really not a fan of them, but this one made me think. It talked about how Jesus needed time alone with the Lord to recharge, and yet it is so easy to forget to make that time. Our lives are so crowded with activity, whereas Jesus would’ve had quiet times when he walked to new places, waited for a fire to warm up, or did the millions of other small daily activities that we’ve automated or somehow sped up.  Even with that, Jesus still had to make time for God.  Again, I don’t think that automating of washing dishes is bad, but I think we need to realize that we’ve lost a lot of the down time in our days.

So I’ve had these thoughts in the back of my head, and then Joe and I keep finding all of these articles on the benefits of walking. First Joe told me about an article in one of our little local papers on the value of walking as a couple. Its kind of hokey, so consider yourself warned.

In the article, Amy Henry says

I find it interesting that husbands and wives find hours each week to run, lift weights, attend yoga classes, cultivate flower beds, paint works of art, play sports, watch television and chauffeur the kids to activities, but somehow expect our marriages to miraculously survive — no, thrive — on zero effort, zero time and zero energy.

Joe and I have talked about this a lot.  It is easy to find time to watch Scrubs, so why is it sometimes hard to sit down and find time to hang out with your spouse?!  It makes no sense.  We love each other more than anything, and yet we pick to do stupid stuff.  Joe and I have been working on reading books together, which is fun, and we’ve been talking a lot more at night.  Its so silly that we have to be so intentional about it though!

Moving on…

The average couple spends two to 2½ hours together a day, but half of that time is spent in front of the television, 30 minutes are spent eating, and 24 minutes are spent on household chores. This means the average couple is spending between six and 21 minutes a day actually interacting with each other. How long would we stay employed if we spent only six minutes a day working at our job?

Yeah, that’s pretty sad.

What then is a couple to do? What does it take to tend our marital gardens so they do not end up choked to death with the weeds we neglected to pull? Most people do not have the money for babysitting and frequent dates, the chance for long tropical getaways or the luxury of grandparents willing and available to watch the kids. And, if money is the main obstacle to a great marriage, than why are rich people no happier in their relationships than the rest of us?

Walking together is a great — free — marriage building activity. The benefits are life changing. Not only does a daily hour-long walk eat up enough calories over the course of a year to burn off more than 30 pounds, but it also provides a regular, consistent forum for couples to talk in something other than the Morse code of parenthood. Consistent time together renews passion for those of us who swore we would never, ever call each other Mom and Dad, for those of us who insisted parenthood would never slow us down, and for those of us who bragged we would be romantically sauntering across Europe with Junior in the Snugglie by the time our milk came in.

So, again, while I’m not normally a fan of newspaper articles that are built upon an imaginary couple, she made some good points.

After Joe and I discussed that article, I came across this one about the Amish not getting fat.  The long and the short of it is that the Amish have a lot of the “fat gene”, and yet they aren’t fat.  Go figure!  They’re too busy working from dawn to dusk, giving me beautiful cabinets!  (Just kidding.  I can’t afford them :P)  The author of the article ended up suggesting that you go for a walk.  Duh.  OK.

And then, to complete my triforce of walking propaganda, I was re-reading Urban Homestead (go get it!).  I have been riding my bike and walking to as many things as possible, and I was meditating on the fact that I really feel so much better when I choose to move a bit slower and more intentionally.  I still use my car when the weather is bad, but I’ve found that walking or riding bikes is so much better.  The kids love to walk or ride, and it easily soothes or puts to sleep my 10 month old.  I burn some extra calories.  I get to talk to my kids, and it seems like they always open up and talk about the deep stuff when we’re walking.  Its just so nice, and I don’t know why I wasn’t doing it more.  We picked this house because it was so close for walking, and yet I haven’t taken full advantage of it.

My friend, Cari, suggested that I make a walking challenge.  That might be fun.  Maybe a simplification challenge in general.  I’m going to have to think about it.  Any thoughts?  Maybe an anti-car challenge? That would be fun  :D

posted by amanda on Jul 30

I just read this article by Michael Pollan. He makes some really good points.

It sounds like he’s on board with the Food, Not Lawns movement

We’ve had in this country what I call a wilderness ethic that’s been very good at telling us what to preserve. You know, eight percent of the American landmass we’ve kind of locked up and thrown away the key. That’s a wonderful achievement and has given us things like the wilderness park.

This is one of our great contributions to world culture, this idea of wilderness. On the other hand, it’s had nothing to say of any value for the ninety-two percent of the landscape that we cannot help but change because this is where we live. This is where we grow our food, this is where we work. Essentially the tendency of the wilderness ethic is to write that all off. Land is either virgin or raped. It’s an all or nothing ethic. It’s either in the realm of pristine, preserved wilderness, or it’s development– parking lot, lawn.

This is a topic that I’ve been thinking about, especially after reading Urban Homestead. They talk a lot about the wastefulness of having a lawn, and I’ve been slowly trying to de-grass my yard. We are expanding our mulched beds, and putting in vegetables, fruits, and herbs that look beautiful, but also don’t waste water. It is ridiculous to pollute our water supply with all of the chemicals that we put in to our lawn, when it gives us nothing in return except for a manicured slab of grass. I am fortunate to live in an area where I am not required to have grass, but my husband is afraid that we will be the weirdos on the block if we completely eliminate it. He helped me to yank out some of our useless water hogs this weekend though, so I think he’s coming on board. For now, my goal is to reduce the amount of water that we waste and to make sure that I do the best that I can to avoid further polluting the water that does go to my lawn.

Back to the article… Michael Pollan also challenges readers to

…find one thing in your life that doesn’t involve spending money that you could do, one change that would make a contribution both to the fact of global warming and your sense of helplessness about global warming.

I think of this when I’m at the grocery store and I see the “green” grocery bags for sale. I know so many people who have tons of canvas or mesh bags at their house, but they feel the need to buy the bags to be more green. Its silly. Our consumerism is tainting our attempts to undo the problem… a problem that it has caused in the first place!

I think this is such a great challenge. Its one that I’ve struggled with… I’ve had to push myself to think in a new way. There are so many things that we can do that will help immensely and don’t require for us to spend a single cent. I use a clothes line outside, but I wanted to dry some clothes inside. I immediately wanted to run (or walk) to the store and buy a fancy, retractable clothesline. I thought about it for a second, and I realized that I had places in my house where I could hang or drape the sheets, and I didn’t need to buy anything. Why did I feel the need to go get the proper gadget to hang clothes?! Billions of people have hung clothes without indoor retractable clotheslines!

I did the same thing with my worm bin. I was researching online to find some kind of super worm chalet. It took me several days to convince myself that all that I needed was the rubbermaid that held my homebirth supplies, with a few holes drilled in the side. It took me only a few minutes, and it reused an item that I wasn’t using. When I went to the Boulder county worm composting workshop, I smiled when I saw that they were using the same thing for their official worm bin. You don’t need fancy stuff to make it work.

I’m not saying that there aren’t times when the special equipment is worth it. For example, I use my grain mill daily, and I absolutely adore it. I traded in my hand powered model for the electric one, because it grinds a much finer flour so I don’t need to supplement with white flour. I still try to make good choices, by buying Colorado grown organic wheat berries in bulk, and by batch processing the wheat. I’m still happy to use the electric version though

If you’ve recently started doing anything to be more green that doesn’t include buying something new, then I’d love to hear about it. I’m always excited to try new things! I am going to try to make a solar oven out of stuff that I have in my garage. We’ll see how that goes. Hopefully I’ll soon be making my zucchini bread in the back yard

posted by amanda on Jul 28

If you’ve been thinking about going “green” or taking yourself off of the grid as much as possible, then I really recommend this book.  I stumbled upon it after finding the authors’ blog, and it is such a great little gem.  It covers everything from vermicomposting to guerilla gardening to making your own solar oven and even outfitting your bike for grocery shopping.  Its really great.  I checked my copy out from the fantabulous Boulder library, but I’m going to go buy a copy because it is just that good of a resource  ;)  Seriously…  Check it out.

posted by amanda on Jul 23

My garden is so happy!  We’re still eating out of it every day, and I am just so proud.

The early season crops have all either gone to seed or turned brown.  My lettuce has bolted so high that it is taller than my 6 year old.  I was planning on leaving a few and letting them just go to seed and hopefully they’ll give me some volunteers for the fall.  I’ll probably sow some seeds as well.  I’m trying to embrace the fact that things in nature don’t grow in neat little rows or on grids.  I’m planning on removing my grids from my garden to help remind myself that I don’t need everyone in a neat little spot.  Jungles don’t grow like that.

My crookneck squash has already given me some food, and my zucchini is very close to being ready to cut.  My cucumbers are going nuts, but they are still really little.  My basket tomatoes and the ones in the ground are both very happy.  We ate blueberries for several weeks, but that is now done.

So, without further ado…  Here’s some current pics.

posted by amanda on Aug 30

This is my new favorite book!  There are so many great sections, but I want to focus today on her chapter on the fantasy of housekeeping and “dream houses”.  There are all sorts of high-end gadgets that are marketed to people who don’t even clean their own households. People want to dream and fantasize about their perfect house, and yet the time that women spend on average cleaning has dropped by 50% since my Grandmother’s day. During that same time, no other members of the household have started spending more time on housekeeping. That’s not good.

Clothes and toys lie strewn from one side of the house to the other, there seems to be nowhere to put anything, and we find ourselves wondering whether the whole family is likely to come down with typhoid if the bathroom is left uncleaned for yet another day or week or month.  And in the midst of it all, there too often sits someone who is reading a magazine or watching a TV show about the dream house rather than tidying up the house he or she is in.

Our culture completely encourages this kind of fantasy life and house-porn over the real day to day, unglamorous (but worthwhile) act of keeping house.

There has surely always been a gap between the way people keep their houses and the way they would like ideally to keep them. But many of us, I suspect, are demoralized by the task of keeping house in part because we know that our houses, no matter how well kept, will never look like the palaces in the dream house publications. And so we give up, preferring unattainable ideals to less than perfect realities.

It is so easy to get caught in this trap. We moved about 6 months ago from a house that had become my “dream home” by the time we left. It had the floors I always wanted, the perfect layout, a great yard, and it was painted in my favorite colors. We moved to a great new home, but it has carpeting in the main living areas, a red wall in the living room, and a smaller kitchen. Our furniture was bought to fit in our old house, and doesn’t match properly in our new house. This house has some great new features, like we now live on an open space (a preserved nature area) and we have a full guest living area in the basement, but I found myself having such a hard time being motivated because I didn’t *love* it the way that I loved my old house. I made a few changes - first in my attitude, and then in the rooms, and it has become much easier to take care of the house. I am finally enjoying it again. I never realized how important my attitude was until we moved.

The other thing that I’ve recently learned, and that this book reinforced, is that my goal as a stay at home mom is not to have a perfect house. My goal is to take care of everyone and help them to feel comfortable. This includes a clean house, but not one with the finest furnishings or artwork. It just needs to be clean and welcoming.

I think we will realize that elaborate, spotless perfection is really not the point. The point is the continual re-creation of welcome and nurturance, not in some theoretical or disembodied sense but in simple, practical provision for the needs of the body: food, clothing, a place to sit, a place to sleep.

Ironically, perhaps (given what is often called the materialism of modern society), these basic needs are too often met with neglect (no one makes any effort to provide clean clothes or meals) or resentment (whoever is providing the clean clothes and meals sees that work, and is encouraged by others to see it, as “drudgery”). The result is that those needs become something to indulge in fits of commercialized excess (”treating oneself” to a day at a spa or a weekend at a hotel, for example) rather than through happy daily routines of baths and meals and clean sheets.

Yeah, why do we do that?!

The rest of the book goes on to talk about the simple details of sheltering, clothing, feeding, and keeping a household. It is both simple and profound at the same time. It is not the kind of book that makes you feel like you need to start working yourself into a frenzy. It is a simple encouragement to bless your family and those outside of your family by making your house into a place that will nurture souls. I really recommend this book.

posted by amanda on Mar 29

I’m sure I’ll get some interesting google hits from that title

I have been searching the past few days for some really great housekeeping sites, and I am so frustrated by the ridiculous extremes that seem to prevail on the internet. It is infuriating!

When you search for Christian homekeeping, you basically come across two extremes. First is the Fascinating Womanhood model. This is by far the bulk of what is out there. On these sites you’ll find all the information that you could ever need to become a doormat. You too can become a slave! You can nibble off your husband’s toenails each night as he walks in the door. You can let your entire family run over you while you make homemade brittle. Life is fabulous.

The other sites that address homemaking basically say that because women are so free, we should never clean our house. We should force our kids to do it, or maybe have our husband clean all night long after he gets home from work. Sit back, relax, you are called to nothing more than enjoying yourself.

Why aren’t there sites out there for women who respect themselves (and their families) and yet want to do a good job at their current work? I am a stay at home mom. I love eating food made from scratch. I love living in a clean house. Sometimes I don’t enjoy what it takes to get it there, but then again I had to do all sorts of stuff that I disliked when I worked in the “real world”. I wish there were more sites (and books) out there to encourage real moms who want to be their own person to also do a wonderful job at their current profession as a homemaker. I like my house to be clean when my dh comes in the door because that is what I like to see. It gives me peace, and I want him to be able to have the same peace. I don’t want him to feel like he needs to come home and do my job. I do it because we are to love others as ourselves. I do not do it to earn his love. I do not do it because I am his Girl Friday. I do it because it is my job and I would love the same from him if our roles were reversed.

I doubt that I’ll be able to change the internet world, but I have decided that I want to do a little series on homemaking for women with spines. I hope you’ll stay tuned

posted by amanda on Sep 17

Living Simply with Children: A Voluntary Simplicity Guide for Moms, Dads, and Kids Who Want to Reclaim the Bliss of Childhood and the Joy of Parenting
By: Marie Sherlock
As you can see in my VoluntarySimplicity post, I have recently been thinking a lot about what is important to me and what is just a waste of my time. I’ve really been convicted on the many ways that I misuse my time, and so I’m trying to correct it.

I decided to download and play with Life Balance, which is actually really cool. You write out your goals and the steps to get there and then it makes a to-do list for you that takes into account when you can do things, where you are going to be, and what must be done before other tasks can be done. I’m having fun playing with it. I found that they even have a plan you can download for Flylady (too bad I don’t use her system)!

As dh and I talked about it last night, we realized that our weaknesses in this area are actually very complimentary. Where I am weak, he is strong; Where he is weak, I am strong. So now we are working together to see what we can do to help each other out.

All of this has helped me realize that I have a lot of small goals that I was doing absolutely nothing to accomplish. They are important to me, but it does not appear that way when you look at my schedule. I’m hoping to change this.

If you have realized the same thing, especially if you are a couple of steps ahead of me in putting those goals into action, please comment! I’d love to hear what you’ve done.

posted by amanda on Sep 9

Living Simply with Children: A Voluntary Simplicity Guide for Moms, Dads, and Kids Who Want to Reclaim the Bliss of Childhood and the Joy of Parenting
By: Marie Sherlock

Contrary to some reports, simplicity is not about deprivation. Those practicing simplicity in North America typically are quite comfortable by global standards. They only thing they’ve given up is the unnecessary and unsatisfying excess that is common in America. In exchange, they receive the luxury of time, peace of mind, and happiness. - Marie Sherlock Living Simply With Children

I’ve never been that simple of a girl. Actually, I’ve always been a bit more of a material girl. I’ve been feeling led to change this though. All of the sudden I am having living-off-the-grid dreams. Its crazy.

I went to the library and checked out a few books on Voluntary Simplicity (I figured that it wouldn’t be very simple of me to purchase them!) I’m really enjoying what I’m learning.

We’ve already had a few family meetings about things that we can do as a family to simplify our life. We’ve talked about the goals that are truly important to us and what we can do to trim down the parts of our life that aren’t advancing us towards those goals. Its amazing to see how much of my time has been wasted on things that do not further my goals AT ALL. There are things that I feel that God is guiding me to, and yet I was spending my time in areas that were completely unrelated.

So dh has really jumped on board, and we are finally working on a project that not only furthers our goals, but also allows us more time together. Its really, really cool.

For the kids, we are working on reducing television and increasing family game times. I don’t mean board games, although we’ve done that too, but I just mean getting down and playing with them in any way they want. Its been a great reminder of how much I want to spend time with my children and grow in relationship with them. I don’t have a goal for them to know every song that Dora sings

Anyways, I wanted to go ahead and add a blog category for Voluntary Simplicity. I’ll probably put in a couple of entries from the books that I’m reading because it has given me a lot to think about. I don’t think I’ll be throwing away my Treo or my SUV anytime soon, but the little changes are already making a huge difference.

posted by amanda on Jun 11

Chore Buster - Organize your family’s chores

I’m still playing with it, but this is a prety cool site You sign up and then enter the members of your family, how much (if any) they should do, and then set up all of your chores. Each day (or week) it emails you your chore chart. It picks chores for everyone based on how much you say they can handle and the difficulty of the chore. Cool, eh?

posted by amanda on Feb 18

This is a topic that I’ve been thinking about quite a bit recently. We’ve never had any kind of formal chore charts for our kids, but they are always happy to help when it comes time to pick up the house. They help enthusiastically and with a generous heart. I have thought about making charts, but I wonder if that will take some of the enjoyment and the gift of it away.

I found some lists online for what should be expected for each age, and my kids do pretty much everything on there. There are some things that don’t apply (like feeding pets - we don’t have any), but they are great about doing the items on there that apply to our family.

So I guess I’m just wondering what you do with your families. If you have a chart system, when did you start?