(from http://www.sabbathmanifesto.org/)

To me, there is something magical about the Sabbath. My religious history is a bit strange. I was raised with a mix of various flavors of Judaism along with pretty much the whole gamut of Protestantism (evangelical, mainline, charismatic…) I am thankful for the diversity that I was exposed to, and it has made for an interesting transition to finding the best fit for worship in my life.

It seems like every few years I go through a new (deeper) frustration with the evangelical church in America. There is a series on Internet Monk right now that almost perfectly sums up our issues. I am lucky to have an amazing husband who has dealt with the same frustrations. Why does the mainstream evangelical church in America look and feel so WRONG? Why are they (and I can’t even say “we”, because I can’t self-identify with them at this point) living, as the post on Internet Monk says, “of the world, but not in it.”

We know that we want to be DOING more of what Jesus taught, rather than just sitting in an auditorium and participating in a liturgy-that-pretends-to-not-be-because-they’re-too-cool-for-that. The problem is in finding how to live that out in the midst of our insanely busy lives. We have no problem finding other believers who feel the same way that we do, but they’re all so busy too!

One solution that has worked well for us (over the past 5 years or so) to reducing the “busyness” is to celebrate a more traditional Sabbath. The site above is nice because it has some bullet points to point you in the right direction if celebrating a Sabbath is new for you. Taking the intentional time to unplug, light some candles, make a special dinner, and enjoy it with those you love can make such a difference. Taking the following day to serve and seek spiritual nourishment is amazing. Those times have given us SO much more growth than any other spiritual practice.

I am excited to see where God leads us next. Our journey as a family has been so rewarding, and my husband and I have discussed many times how humbling it is to look back. I cannot speak highly enough of the value of traditional spiritual disciplines, especially if looking at the American church makes you feel like crying.

Things in my life keep pointing to the Mennonites. I truly have no idea what that means – no conversion plans in the future – but Joe and I really like a lot of what they stand for. I checked out Living More with Less from the library after I saw it recommended on mothering.com. I had no idea that it was a Christian book. Joe grabbed it from the book basket and practically devoured it. I read it next, and we had so much fun discussing it.

One of the really striking things in this book is how oddly “ahead of the times” the Mennonites were when this book was written. It was published in 1980, and it is filled with “green” ideas that are just now becoming popular.

This book is split into two sections. The first section is more of the “why’s” of voluntary simplicity. The second section is filled with chapters that start with some words from the author on a particular subject (transportation, clothes, eating together, recreation…), and then there are pages of ideas from fellow Christians on how to live out simplicity.

One of the underlying principles that I really liked about the book was the focus on learning from those who live in countries that we consider to be developing… Countries that we think we need to swoop in and save. For all of our advances, and all of our technical knowledge, we are becoming more and more like the humans in Wall-E We are divorced from natural processes, and if we were forced to live without our conveniences, we certainly wouldn’t look like the advanced society that we like to think ourselves to be. This is how the author, Doris Janzen Longacre, discusses this topic.

If you as a North American travel to an economically poor country such as Haiti or Bangladesh, your first reaction is likely to be shock. You have heard of poverty, and seen it in pictures. But to find yourself face to face with hungry people jars your soul with feelings for which you are unprepared.
After a while, shock gives ways to ideas for development projects typically conducted by church agencies. These usually promote better education, nutrition, agriculture, sanitation, family planning, small business investments, and, increasingly, a concern that people receive just access to resources….
These reactions are certainly warranted. God help us when poverty no longer shakes us into action. But how rarely we realize that persons from other countries often go through a similar thought process when living with us!

It does seem that we want to swoop in and save everyone, but we could really benefit from making this a two-way street of assistance. They have as much to teach us as we do them, and it seems easy for Americans to overlook this fact. I say this as someone who did this EXACT same thing when I was overseas on a mission trip, and I wasn’t even in a poor country.

For we, of course, have problems too. No one wants to hear the whole sordid list again, but it begins with materialism, violence in streets and homes, family breakdown, drug and alcohol abuse, automobile accidents, poor diet and degenerative diseases, waste of material resources, pollution, and nuclear proliferation. What if we became as concerned with our own overdevelopment or maldevelopment as we are with the underdevelopment of poor nations? … Could they help?

Then she begins with quotes from foreigners who were shocked when they saw the blindspots of Americans. Here are just a few.

“America is a wasteful society. In every store you see disposable things. People want everything to go fast, so after using things once, they throw them away.” –Jusef Sumadi, Indonesia

“People in North America don’t care to repair things once they are out of order. There are few repair shops. I cannot imagine how many TVs and refrigerators are put into junk which are repairable.”–Guillermo Abanco, Philippines

“When we first walked into a North American church, my friend from Indonesia said, “The cost of this carpet alone would build a beautiful church in Indonesia.”–Sammy Sacapano, Philippines

“Children don’t like vegetables? No, I never heard of that in my country!”–Taiwanese nutrition student, Kansas State University

“American communities are beautiful. But instead of growing vegetables or fruits, the people prefer grass and spend money taking care of it.”–Guillermo Abanco, Philippines

So you get the idea. A lot of the ideas in the book come from missionaries who learned simpler ways of living when they were overseas. One, in particular, has happily been adopted in my home this week. This was the tip (actually, there were two on the same idea…)

Cordless Crockpots

“During our stay at the Thokoza Conference Center in Mbabane, I saw demonstrated what I’m calling an African crockpot. This is a fairly deep, simple grass basket stuffed full of crumpled newspaper. You make an impression at the top to hold the pot. In the morning, boil soaked dry beans for fifteen minutes. Then nestle the pot down in the newspaper inside the basket. Put a heavy blanket or pillow on top to keep in the heat. At suppertime the beans are soft, hot, and ready to eat.” –Darlene Keller, Mbabane, Swaziland

So it turns out that this is a pretty popular idea. I found some information here – http://solarcooking.wikia.com/wiki/Heat-retention_cooking – that I used to cook both rice and beans this week. They turned out delicious, and I only used a very small amount of electricity and gas to make them. It was so cool!

There were tons of other great ideas in there, but this post is getting rather long-winded, so I think I’ll wrap it up, lol. It really is a good book, though, and I recommend it if you can grab a copy. Joe particularly liked the ideas on transportation and ways to simplify around the house. I really liked the sections on eating together and homekeeping. We both liked a lot of the ideas for simple celebrations and recreation. We’ve already implemented quite a few, and its been wonderful.

I’m going to try to address this without getting too emotional, but I will preface by saying that I couldn’t sleep last night because of this issue. One of my friends on Facebook had posted to her wall, and a debate (if you could call it that) ensued courtesy of one of her Christian friends.  The man on facebook was saying that legalizing gay marriage is like legalizing child molestation.  He was using inflammatory language and I was so sad to read what he wrote.  This kind of stuff breaks my heart. I was laying in bed, thinking of everything that I was going to say, when I realized that I had way too much to fit into the little comment box on Facebook, so yeah…

If you’re friends with me on Facebook, then you probably saw that I recently linked to this discussion on Evangelical Politics.  It is Chuck Colson, Greg Boyd, and Shane Claiborne speaking at the National Pastors Convention in San Diego in 2008.  Joe and I watched it and stayed up WAY too late talking about it.  We were both struck by how bizarre it was that Chuck Colson appeared to be in a completely different church than the rest of us.  Honestly.  It blew my mind.  It was like he saw absolutely.nothing.wrong.  Seriously!  He said that he had never met people who were disrespectful of homosexuals in the church.  Chuck?  Are you with me?  What church are you attending?

Shane and Greg both referred to the Unchurched survey, which helped Evangelicals to see that the #1 adjective that the unchurched use to describe Evangelicals was “homophobic”.  #1!  Way to go!  Lets think about this for just one second.  Jesus was known for drawing in people who were outcast from their society due to their sex lives.  Is no one else bothered by the fact that the church is NOT like Jesus in this area?  The church actively repulses the homosexual community.  While 1/3 of heterosexuals fall into the “unchurched” category, 49% of homosexuals do.  I know its shocking, but apparently the “God hates fags!” signs are pushing people away.

Not surprisingly, 72% of the people in the survey also said that the church is full of hypocrites.  You think?  Considering that I remember reading a few years ago that 90% of pastors admit to struggling with pornography.  Guess what…. the numbers inside the church weren’t any better.  It turns out that the church is filled with people who struggle with sexual sin, and yet we are pushing away others by our actions.  Even in the video, Chuck Colson said that you only have to look at a naked man and a naked woman next to each other to see what is “normal”, and that obviously being gay is just not normal.  That’s not helpful talk.  We know that our church is struggling with lust, based on our own numbers, and that’s not any better.  He said that gays would be welcome in the church if they stopped sinning like the rest of us have to.  Uh, seriously?  Do you think you attend a sinless church?  The numbers don’t point that way.

I wanted to include a quote that Shane Claiborne said was from Billy Graham, and when I just googled it, a site came up for gay Christians.  How ironic.  Anyways, the quote from Billy Graham says

It’s the Holy Spirit’s job to convict, it’s God’s job to judge, and it’s my job to love.

That sums it up.  It is our job to love.  It is our job to be love to the hurting people of the world.  It is not our job to convict or judge, ESPECIALLY those outside of the church.

As Paul says in 1 Timothy 1:15

Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.

I really feel that this whole issue underscores a general problem that we have in our church.  A problem with being open, being honest, and being loving.  I feel that we all see Christians acting this way, and it makes it much more difficult for those inside and outside of the church to be transparent, because such hateful language is used.  We do not create a safe, loving environment.  Sure, it happens in some churches (Joe is in a fantastic mens group that really embodies so much of what the church should be), but this is not the message that we are getting out to the masses.  It is so sad.

I wish that Christians would stop trying to legislate morality, because (1) It doesn’t work, (2) It pushes people from the church, (3) We all suck too, so we just look like a bunch of hypocrites, and (4) Most importantly, we don’t expect ANYONE to change apart from a relationship with Christ.  It is nothing but legalism and bondage to expect people to act differently without a relationship with Christ.  We are so concerned that gays may raise kids in a family that doesn’t meet the tradtional (2 parent – 1 male/1 female) ideal, and yet the divorce rate in the church is PASSING the divorce rate amongst the unchurched.  We have so far to go, and I think we’d do so much better to love and support everyone (while removing the log from our own eyes), rather than trying to micromanage others lives while we screw up our own.

<sigh>  I don’t think that was very unemotional, lol.  I need to go edit!

Edited to add: My pastor gave a great sermon a few weeks ago where he talked about how we need to accept that our church should be filled with all sorts of different people – different races, different socioeconomic backgrounds, Democrats and Republicans, straights, gays, transgenders, bisexuals… everything! That is God’s plan for our church, and we will be missing out if we try to limit who is welcome in church. Here is a link: Message Archives I’m pretty sure that it is the one on the top – the first of the “Get on the Bus” series. On a side note, today’s sermon was on the myth of redemptive violence.

Edited to add another thing: Isn’t it funny that Jesus didn’t try to legislate this stuff? He certainly could’ve if he wanted to, but instead one of his TEMPTATIONS from the devil was for political power. Hmmm.

Sally and Clay Clarkson
The WholeHearted Child Home Education Workshop
September 7-8
New Life Church, Colorado Springs
http://wholeheart.org/whcalendaritem.php?eventid=17
This is two days (Friday and Saturday). Friday night is free and Saturday is paid. It looks great!

Jane Lambert (author of Five in a Row) and Amanda Bennett
Grace Point Community Church, Littleton
October 13, 10am-2pm
Email mpskra{at}comcast{dot}net for more information.
Also find more information here.

Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller (Authors of “Say Goodbye to Whining…”)
http://www.biblicalparenting.org/schedule.asp
October 13, 2007
Saturday 8:45 am to 2:30 pm
Bad Attitudes, Anger, and Accepting No as an Answer
Presenters: Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller
Westminster Church of the Nazarene
3501 W 104th Ave
Westminster, Colorado 80031
A children’s program is provided to complement what the parents are learning.
The cost is $30 per couple, $20 per individual.
For more information or to register, please call (303) 469-5149.

November 10, 2007
Saturday 8:30 am to 12:30 pm
Start with the Heart: The Parenting Seminar
Brought to you by the International Network of Children’s Ministry
Heritage Evangelical Free Church
555 N Heritage Ave
Castle Rock, Colorado 80104
A children’s program is provided to complement what the parents are learning.
The cost is $15 per adult, $5 per child.
Register online at incm.org
For more information call (303) 660-9911.

Today I was reading in Mindless Eating about comfort foods and the differences between what women choose and what men choose.

What’s the big difference between men and women? When asked why they preferred pizza, pasta, and soup over cakes and cookies, men generally talked about how good they tasted and how filling they were. But when we probed a bit deeper, many also said that when they ate these foods they felt “spoiled,” “pampered,” “taken care of,” or “waited on.” Generally they associated these foods with being the focus of attention from either the mother or wife.

And women? Although they liked hot-meal comfort foods just fine, these foods did not carry the associations of being “spoiled,” “taken care of,” or “waited on.” In fact, quite the opposite. When women thought of these foods, they were reminded of the work they or their mothers had to do to produce them. These foods didn’t represent comfort, they represented preparation and cleanup.

For women, snacklike foods–candy, cookies, ice cream, chocolate–were hassly-free. Part of their comfort was to not have to make or clean up anything. It was both effortless and mindless eating.

Isn’t that interesting? Men chose foods that made them feel cared for or spoiled. As I think of Joe’s favorite foods, they are all warm and full meals. Mine are not. Last week I made lasagna because he asked for it, and I couldn’t fathom why someone would want lasagna when it is 99 degrees outside. I even talked to some friends at my yoga class about how all I want is a salad or to eat out. I need to keep our different preferences in mind, even if Joe’s tastes sometimes confuse me. I do this for my children, but I don’t always think a ton about Joe’s preferences, especially since he likes a lot of unhealthy comfort foods. Making those foods healthy and serving his comfort foods is another little way of honoring my family I hadn’t really considered the deeper “why’s” behind that before.

In Turansky and Miller’s Say Goodbye to Whining, they point out that the Bible tells us many times to love, honor, serve, and encourage others. I sometimes think of that as being a loftier goal than it is. The fact is that many of my day-to-day decisions can be done in a more honoring way. They say,

It’s amazing how one family member can behin a chain reaction of change, resulting in a greater sense of honor. Maybe that one family member is you.

There are so many little ways to show honor and love. I am glad that I am starting to recognize some more ways to do this. It blesses me to bless my family.  Who would’ve thought that a book on subconscious eating preferences would give me more ideas on how to bless my family?

Last night I had a terrible nightmare that included one of my children being hurt.  The thought of my children hurting is a million times worse than the thought of my own hurt.  Even if I consider the possibility of my own death, the part that pains me the most is the pain that my children would feel.

So I awoke from my nightmare and started praying a drunkenly-tired prayer, which came out all wrong and only upset me more.  I am terrible when I am sleepy.  I know that lots of people do their best prayers at night, but I usually fall asleep trying.  I try to tell myself that it is like drifting off asleep on the phone with someone you love, but I still feel a twinge of guilt for falling asleep to the almighty King.  I checked on the kids and kissed them on their cheeks.  Then I came back to bed and asked Joe to pray with me.  My feeble attempt at a prayer had basically been one of protection.  Joe started praying, and his was all about the will of God.  I was struck by how his life experiences, including the death of his sister, have obviously given him a more mature perspective on prayer.  He also prayed that God protect the kids, but his focus was just so different than my focus.

After his prayer, I fell asleep easily (and wasn’t crying anymore).  I woke up this morning and decided finish Facing East by Frederica Mathewes-Green.  I have learned so much from this book, and it has been great to get an insider’s view of orthodoxy.  I’m still not convinced that it would ever be a fit for me, but I view orthodoxy very differently than I did before I started.  I can also see how the desire for something more rooted and historical could lead a person to an Eastern Orthodox church.  For me this desire has led to my Jewish roots, but I think that the basic desire for depth is the same.

In one of the chapters that I read today, she talks about what she will pray for in the upcoming year,

As C. S. Lewis says of the Christ-figure Aslan in the Narnia tales, “It’s not like he’s a tame lion.”  All over the world, millions of times a day, people are praying, “Thy will be done.”  And I think I can dispute that?  Like, “Oh, I’m an exception.”  If I’m stubborn enough, I can get my will done instead?

Isn’t it interesting that I was just thinking the same thing earlier today?  It really is humbling.  The truth is that if my dream were God’s will, then I’d have to accept it.  I think I can get really sucked into our whole name-it-and-claim-it inspired brand of Christianity that does not reflect the truth of God’s character at all.  I know many earnest Christians who did not want to die or be hurt and yet it still happened.  Desire doesn’t change it.  At least I can rest knowing that God knows best and that I do not need to fear.  Letting go is a tough lesson though.

We recently had a thread on GCM about podcasts, and several of the moms recommended the pray-as-you-go podcast.  It is fab.  It is set to beautiful music and they read a portion of scripture and give some prayer prompts if you’d like to use them.  I’ve loved the Bible in a Year podcast for the past year and a half or so, but I adore that pray-as-you-go gives you time and nice music to reflect and pray as you listen to the Word.  If you’re looking for something a little more contemplative, then you should definitely check it out 

This morning I was going through my old emails, and came across an entry from one of “Laine’s Letters“. I often enjoy her letters, and her recipes are killer – I use a bunch of them. Some of her homemaking entries have inspired me on difficult days. The entry that I came across was called “A Gracious Woman Retains Honor“. It sounded good, so I started reading it.

Laine goes on to list things she has learned about women from her Bible reading, and they include lots of great things and also some things that are completely out of context, like

“She learns in silence in the church with all submission.”

<big sigh>

Luckily for me, I was reading a book that had nothing to do with women, as far as I knew. It is called What Paul Meant by Garry Wills. In today’s reading I came across his chapter on Paul and women, and I am so glad that he dealt with this issue so I can respond to Laine with a scholarly word, and not just my own ramblings, LOL. Here’s what Mr Wills said (after a lengthy discussion on the very important and egalitarian role of women in the early church)

Prophecy is now popularly thought to mean prediction of the future. But the Jewish prophets were inspired denouncers of those who lapsed from the Lord’s ways, reformers and purifiers. The faults at Corinth had their excoriaters, and some of the prophets were women. Paul writes that in the gatherings there a woman “should not pray or prophesy with her head uncovered” (1 Cor 11.5)… He is just as strict in saying that men should not have their heads covered when they pray or prophesy.

Well then, I suppose this was silent prophesy, no? Jewish prophesy does not align with learning in silence and sitting in full submission. I mean, it was submission in the way that all believers submit to one another, but not in the patriarchal sense of the term where women never speak up when they see something wrong. For the full debate, feel free to pick up this book, or any number of other amazing scholarly works. Email or comment and I’ll happily list some of my faves As a matter of fact, I was listening to a VERY conservative Christian podcast from some folks from Dallas Theological Seminary, and they agreed on some related issues. Its not just the crazy liberals saying this stuff. Laine’s list is SO long, and yet she doesn’t even address that one should cover her head while prophesying. Why is this? Why take away liberties that were given to women? The first century church was not like we think of church now. I’m guessing Laine may very well look at her links and pop over here, so if so, please comment

And just to close, a few more thoughts from Mr. Wills on Paul’s associations with women

Prisca even went to prison with him…  Phoebe is his protectress.  Another Sister is like his mother.  Chloe’s establishment keeps him informed.  His crack team assembled in Rome for the Spanish campaign includes ten women, at least three of them married.  He knows a woman emissary (apostolos), a woman attendant (diakonos), and women prophets.  He knows two women leaders in Philippi, Euodia and Syntyche, who have become rivals, and he begs for their reconciliation (not their condemnation) at Philippians 4.2-3.  The later misogyny of the Christian churches would never have occurred if the spirit of Paul had continued in them.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.

I believe that God puts certain desires in us that are neither good nor bad… they are just a part of who we are. They are the little quirks that make us special. We each learn the good and bad sides of them, and try to praise Him while using our special gifts.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve liked to stand out. As a matter of fact, my “area of giftedness”, which was diagnosed very early, includes the fact that I don’t like to do things the way everyone else does. I am far from uncomfortable if people are looking at me, or confused by me, or intrigued by me. I really love it, actually. In high school I was a bit of a freak. I just liked to be strange in dress, in actions, in beliefs… DH jokes that he didn’t realize what he was getting when we met in college, but there was no bait-and-switch here. I was the only punk, electric guitar playing, skateboarding, vegetarian, spiked hair, football loving, computer major around, lol.

Now as an adult, I still like to look different. I like to be different and make people think. We live a pretty typical (upper-?) middle-class kind of life. We parent differently though. We don’t really fit in completely with the secular world or with Christians.

I noticed today that I was getting frustrated about not finding a church that agrees with me. I’m not sure why I have been so bothered by this fact. The truth is that I think I’m probably pushing too hard and asking for something unreasonable. Are there really that many AP-friendly, egalitarian, not-too-liberal-but-not-too-conservative, free thinking, Biblically based, Jew-friendly, environmental, “buy local”, give-back-to-the-community, Protestant churches out there? Um, probably not.

I really feel like God has been nudging me to consider that I might need to go to a church that is not quite out-there, but not totally conservative, and just accept that this is another area where I am different. The things I disagree on are not essentials of the faith. Still I find it so hard to accept a church that disagrees about the way that I am a mother and a woman. Those do happen to be my two biggest roles, y’know?

For any other weirdos out there, how have you found a church to call home? Do you search until you find one that you completely agree with or do you try to go change one with beliefs that you think are inaccurate? Is there some third option? All of my spiritual gifts are ones that are traditionally masculine, so I want to lead. I want to teach. I want to make a difference. I can’t imagine anything else. It wouldn’t feel like I was an active member of the body if not.

Hmm, I guess I have a lot to think about. Why can’t there be a church of GCM? Crystal could be the pastor! Ahh, that sounds dreamy

Oh well.  Have a great night, everyone

I would love to blog about this book a million times! It is great! Unfortunately my time is limited with it (it is a library book), so I guess I’ll just have to hit the main points that I enjoyed and that I haven’t seen discussed elsewhere.

Patricia Gundry writes this book so well, and does an amazing job at balancing femininity with strength. She provides a wonderful example for how this can be done, despite what many other books on this passage try to say. She tackles important issues for all women, including being a hard worker, trustworthy, strong, beautiful, not manipulative, a bargain hunter, a planner, an investor, a provider, and praiseworthy. I have read many other books on Proverbs 31, and none of them capture the context and the relevance of what is being said to King Lemuel the way that Gundry does in this book.
Here are some of my highlights from a few chapters.

On women who manipulate (re: Proverbs 31:12 “She does him good and not harm all the days of her life”)

Women manipulate men… I always wondered why women are so tempted to do it… Why would women like Marabel Morgan or Helen Andelin justify it with Bible verses, case histories, and personal examples of their own approach to pragmatism in marriage?

I think they do it because they live in a double bind. Women are the underdogs in the family and society. So they gravitate toward survival methods common to underdogs, methods that are as old as the Fall.

Here’s how it works: the underdog is afraid to approach her superior directly. Though direct approach is effective some of the time, too often it is not. When dealing with a superior power that is also unscrupulous and unfair, being direct is often dangerous. Underdogs learn to manipulate in order to get along–or survive.

Manipulation is demeaning both to the one doing it and to the unsuspecting victim. If you’re a woman, your actions say to the man you victimize, “You aren’t very bright, or honorable. If you were smart, you would see through my tricks. If you were honorable, they wouldn’t be necessary.”

This kind of scheming has further disadvantage. It makes close, honest relationships between people impossible.

Amen. I have read so many books for Christian women that only teach women how to be manipulative. They tell you how to get your way: How to convince your husband to do what you want without him knowing it. Its sick, and it makes me so sad that Christian women stoop to that level.
On the Proverbs 31 woman and when she opens her mouth compared to other women

I think inborn nature has nothing to do with the incidence of shrewish or razor-tongued women. It’s as simple as this: those who can’t fight with their fists learn to fight with words. We develop skill with the weapons we have. We also pick up the skill by observing the skilled practicioners who precede us. It is often passed from mother to daughter with success.

Women tend to practice and gain skill on men who are vulnerable. Sometimes this involves practicing on male children who are extremely defenseless. They grow up to be easy targets for other female verbal assaults.

I found this section really interesting. I have quite the razor tongue. As a matter of fact, even long after dh and I were married, I had never “lost” a fight. My quick wit and tongue allowed me to be a more skilled arguer than any boyfriends had ever been. I ended up thinking I was always right. It was a humbling blow to find out that not only was I often wrong, but I also manipulated situations because I could argue better.

She goes on to address an interesting cycle she has noticed. I have seen this for myself, especially in church, which is so sad.

We women are too easily tempted to vent our anger on male children. I have seen it happen so often. A family who lived near us years ago went through a weekly cycle. Over the weekend the husband harassed his wife. On Monday she terrorized their oldest child, a boy (who looked like his father and had the same name) about a year older than my daughter. On Tuesday the boy was out for blood and my kids got it from him…

It is the old pecking-order sequence: we can’t hit back at those who are stronger, so we find excuses to take out our anger on those who are weaker. I firmly believe that much male hostility to women is a result of this vicious circle. Women are repressed and put down by men or by a male-dominated system. Mothers sometimes take out their resentment on their young sons; and teachers and others over children, on little boys in their charge. Those little boys grow up with an accumulated load of unconscious resentment toward women that has been years in the making. They then pass it on to the women who become vulnerable to them.

I’ve never seen this addressed in writing before, but it makes me think of a family whose son was in the Sunday School class that I taught. I would see the end of the cycle, as the mother would take her aggression out on her son as they would walk through the church. He would then come into the class and take his aggression out on the other children. He would often make the other 2 and 3 year olds so upset that they would physically shake. I would have to remove him from the classroom to protect the other children. It was heartbreaking because he was only acting out on what he knew. He was only 3.

I don’t want to make this too long, so I’ll just give one last quote from the end where she is talking about the translation of “helpmeet.”

This verse has been traditionally understood to mean that God created woman as a kind of glorified girl Friday for Adam. A nice girl, but slightly substandard and needing a man to supervise her work. The words help and meet have been condensed by common usage into helpmeet. We have been taught that this means woman should be a helper to man, not his equal.

But in Hebrew, the original language, the words ezer and neged do not have the connotations we have given them. Ezer means “help” all right, but not secondary help or assistant, as in assistant to the president. It means help in the way God helped Israel. The word is used in the Old Testament to refer to help by a superior force, such as help by God, as in Psalm 121:1,2

I raise my eyes towards the hills.
Whence shall my help come?
My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.

The word ezer is never used elsewhere in the Old Testament to refer to subordinate or inferior help.

Neged (“meet”) is a preposition in Hebrew and cannot be translated as a preposition in English and still retain the sense. It means “corresponding to,” “fit for,” “meet for.” In other words, God created woman as a real help to Adam, someone who was like him, suitable in every way. There is no hint of inferiority for woman in the original account.

Good stuff.

This book also has a ton of practical advice. She talks about keeping your home, ways to find your passion for a cottage / work-at-home industry, time management strategies, and ways to enjoy your work and bless your family. I really highly recommend it