HippieMommy

posted by amanda on Aug 27

The Mission of Motherhood: Touching Your Child’s Heart for Eternity
By: Sally Clarkson

I want my home to be a laboratory of life, a place where my children and husband may flourish and feel loved, encouraged, spiritually refreshed, and emotionally prepared to face the work God has for them in life. I want it to be a place where they can learn in safety yet be challenged to grow.

Isn’t that an awesome quote?

Yesterday I was reading and thinking, and this quote just jumped off of the page. This is exactly what I want for my family. What a beautiful vision!

I also want my home to be the best place to be in the minds of my family. Peace and acceptance, excellence and a passion for living, comfort and funn–I want all these qualities to come to my children’s minds when they think about home. If I can succeed in creating a nurturing environment that speaks peace to their souls even as it helps them grow, I will feel that I have done my job as keeper of my domain.

::nodding emphatically::

…Chores are done the same way each day, week, and month of the year so that our children know what to do and when. Each child has a part of the kitchen to do… Whoever cooks does not have to spend time cleaning the kitchen. Rooms are to be picked up at a certain time before dinner… My sons will definitely know how to be a help to their wives because home maintenance was a routine part of their daily lives

See, this is a big part of why I love this book. It talks about all of the weys to create the “traditional” comforts of a home, and yet it is not sexist at all. It treats all children equal when it comes to responsibility. Girls learn to think and boys learn to clean up after themselves. One is not at home cleaning up while the other one gets to explore. Go figure!

Earlier today I was researching a curriculum that someone had mentioned, and these were the skills taught for the boys and girls. Note that the boys get to learn leadership skills, literature, public speaking skills and “knowledge” while the girls get to do basketweaving. Yay!

For the boys:

BIBLICAL MANHOOD 16

Bible Memory 17
Bible Reading 20
Personal Journal 24
Prayer Warrior 25
Proverbs Study for Boys 27

FIELD AND FOREST 42

Archery 43
Birds 48
Butterflies 51
Camping 55
Ecology 60
Horses 63
Insects 66
Outdoor Life 71
Plants 76
Pocketknife 82
Trees 84
Wildlife 88

KNOWLEDGE AND SKILLS 93

Astronomy 94
Chess 99
Computers 102
Drawing .106
Electricity 110
Finances 115
Fire Safety 118
First Aid 121
Foreign Language 123
Gardening 125
Genealogy 132
Health and Fitness 136
Home Care 141
Hygiene 144
Kites 148
Knots 155
Leatherworking 167
Models .174
Oil Painting 178
Pets 182
Photography 185
Poetry 188
Rocketry 192
Rocks and Minerals 198
Sign Language 203
Small Engine Repair 205
Stamp Collecting 208
Tools 212
Typing 224
Watercolors 226
Weather 228
Woodburning 233
Woodcarving 236
Woodworking 243

LEADERSHIP 247

Biography 248
Library 254
Literature 257
Music 260
Organization 264
Propriety 265
Public Speaking 267
Scheduling 269
Scholarship 274
Stewardship 277
Storytelling 282
Teaching 284
Writing 286

OTHERS 291

Bus Worker 292
Church 294
Family 297
Friends 303
Grandparents 307
Great Commission 310
Letters 311
Love 315
Missionary 320
Neighbor 322
Others 325
Rest Home 327
Special Needs 329
Widows 333

RECREATIONAL ACTIVITIES 335

Badminton 336
Bicycle 338
Croquet 342
Fishing 344
Golf 347
Hiking 350
Ice Skating 354
Swimming 357
Table Tennis 356
Tennis 357
Volleyball 359

and the full girls’ list

General Information

Purpose, Goal, Verse, Prayer 12
Keepers at Home Theme Song 13
Achievement Awards 14
Biblical Girlhood 16
Bible Memory 17
Bible Reading 20
Personal Journal 24
Prayer Warrior 25

Creative Skills 27

Basketweaving 29
Calligraphy 33
Candlemaking 36
Candlewicking .43
Ceramics 47
Counted Cross Stitch .49
Crewel Embroidery 53
Crochet 56
Decoupage 58
Dollmaking 60
Drawing 63
Embossing 67
Embroidery 71
Flower Arrangement 75
Knitting 78
Latch Hooking 82
Macrame 84
Miniatures 91
Needlepoint 92
Oil Painting 96
Photography 100
Plastic Canvas 103
Pressed Flowers 106
Quilling 110
Quilting 115
Rubber Stamping 120
Scrapbooking 124
Spinning 127
Stenciling 130
Tatting 133
Tole Painting 136
Watercolors 140
Weaving 142
Homemaking 147
Baking 148
Budgeting 150
Cake Decorating 153
Camping 155
Cleaning 157
Cooking 160
Fire Safety 166
First Aid 169
Food Preservation 171
Gardening 175
Health and Fitness 182
Home Decorating 187
Hygiene 189
Ironing 193
Laundry 194
Organization 196
Proverbs 31 Study for Girls 199
Scheduling 209
Sewing 214
Soapmaking 216
Knowledge and Skills 220
Biography 221
Computer. 227
Foreign Language 230
Genealogy 232
Library 236
Literature 239
Music 242
Poetry 244
Sign Language 248
Storytelling 250
Teaching 252
Typing 254
Writing 256
Nature 260
Birds 261
Butterflies 264
Flowers 268
Horses 270
Insects 273
Pets 278
Trees 281
Wildflowers 285
Others 287
Bus Worker 288
Child Care 290
Church 292
Ecology 295
Etiquette 298
Family 300
Friends 306
Grandparents 310
Hospitality 313
Letters 316
Love 320
Missionary 325
Neighbor 327
Others 330
Rest Home 332
Special Needs 334
Witnessing 338

Recreational Activities 339

Badminton 340
Bicycle 342
Croquet 346
Hiking 348
Ice Skating 352
Swimming 353
Table Tennis 354
Tennis 355
Volleyball 357

posted by amanda on May 10

In Chapter 4 of The Mission of Motherhood, Sally Clarkson explores the idea of a “Servant Mother”. I find this to be a very controversial subject, and I’m really impressed that she took it on.

Last week I was listening to the Natural Moms Talk Radio podcast and Kelly Nault was on the program. Ms. Nault wrote the book When You’re About to Go Off the Deep End, Don’t Take Your Kids With You. I haven’t read the book, but I really enjoyed the podcast. In there they discussed a lot of great things, including the Continuum Concept, which I’m always happy to hear discussed

One thing that I was thinking about during the podcast was Ms. Nault talking about how moms need to take time for themselves. I totally agree. I think that so many moms are already at their wits ends, and then they have nothing left to give to their children. Ms. Nault had three steps towards being a better mom, and taking care of yourself was first and the last one was to take time for spiritual matters. I thought these were a bit backwards, but whatever…

I think that in this chapter Sally Clarkson does an excellent job of hitting the balance point between selfishness and running yourself ragged… and yet at the same time telling you to give yourself as Christ gave. Yes, we have to be full, but that can be taken too far. Allow me to share some quotes…

…children, by definition, take up our time. They’re supposed to do that; it’s the way God made them. But if we don’t recognize or accept that fact…as many mothers today don’t–we’re bound to make things difficult for ourselves and our children.

In my own life, I have noticed that the times that I get frustrated are the times where I’m trying to do too much and I am expecting no one to get in my way. That’s simply not realistic.

I had years of time as a single woman when I was ruler over most of my minutes. I decided when I would eat, sleep, vacation, work, or meet someone for lunch. I decided these issues according to my needs and desires.
But once I had my children, as any mother will understand, my time was never my own again! Children simply don’t fit into neat little time packages.

I can admit that there have been times when I’ve looked back fondly on the days when I could sleep in, go to lunch, or stay up late without fear of someone waking me up just minutes after I finally went to bed. I think its good to understand and expect that this is the way that God made children, and its not something to resent them for. We all needed it as children.

When we realize and accept that serving our children means giving them whatever time they need, whenever they need it, we will be far less likely to fall into… bitterness and resentment…

Exactly.

I regret the time I wasted in the early years of my children’s lives because I didn’t have a realistic understanding of what motherhood would cost me in the regard. I did enjoy being with them– usually. But I also tended to chafe at the demands these little ones made on my time and energy. I would become irritated or frazzled by their whining or clinging to me or crying.

She goes on to talk about how the life of a SAHM is filled with repetitive tasks that are constantly being undone. Kids always need you and if you don’t expect that, you will get upset. She says that this struggle between selfishness and selflessness is a normal battle, but its one that often makes us feel riddled with guilt.

I can’t even express how wonderful it is to read words from a mother who has already been through this phase in her life. Its so nice to be able to learn from her wisdom. She shares her experience when she has her last child six years after her next to last, so she had time to learn these things

I had lived through the early youth of my other three children and had seen that they really did grow up quickly. Finally, by experience, I understood that the dependent stage of early childhood was only for a season. I could see how important it was to enjoy each day and treasure these moments of early life with my children, because the years did pass quickly.

I am so grateful to learn from her experience and for this reminder.

As she wraps up the chapter, she gives some more practical applications for being a servant mother.

We mothers need to recognize what a powerful effect our attitude has on our children. Laying down our lives for them can indeed mean giving up, for their sakes, our right to wallow in our negative feelings. And choosing the path of servant leadership certainly means making the effort to respond in faith to our circumstances and our feelings, turning to the Lord for help in maintaining a hopeful attitude. The beauty of such an effort, of course, is that it has the power to lift us up even as it sustains our children’s spirits.

I read this last night, and it inspired me to set my alarm and get up early this morning. I cleaned the house before bed and set out my clothes for the day. I woke up expecting to wake up (rather than grumbling and surprised that it was already morning), and it has already made such a huge difference. My area of selfishness is definitely sleep. Well… sleep and computer time The time that I get frustrated on the computer is if I’m trying to do work or school and I am unable to concentrate. I don’t take it out on my kids, but I know that they sense my stress. I should devote my time to them during the day and do my work/school at night or in the mornings before they’re up and moving around. Anyways, I’ve learned a lot from this chapter, and I look forward to applying it

posted by amanda on Apr 6

I am reading The Mission of Motherhood and thoroughly enjoying it. I really appreciate the way that she approaches motherhood, SAHMs, WAHMs, and WOHMs. I like how she doesn’t condemn or criticize, but she does make you think

I’ve recently been contemplating why it is that I want to finish several more degrees. What is driving me? Why is it important? Today on Starting Over, Iyanla Vanzant was talking about how men learn from institutions and women learn from other women, from experience, and from creativity. I thought that was an interesting quote. I am not saying that I necessarily agree with it (and no rules can apply to everyone), but it did make me think about how women have learned for thousands of years. To be fair, men haven’t always learned in institutions, but the learning styles do tend to be different. Then again, I seem to do a lot of things in masculine ways, LOL. My point is that this quote made me wonder if I really need a degree to learn or be “wise”.

So these thoughts have been pushing me to question what a computer or business degree will really do for my life and the life of my family. For now, the pursuit of education is taking away time from my family. Hearing my 4-year-old son say “I miss you when you’re at school, Mommy. It makes me sad.” is like putting a knife through my heart, and I am only gone 2 nights a week. My class doesn’t even start until their bedtime, but it still has an impact on their lives.

Plans are always changing, but right now I would ideally like to stay home and homeschool until my children are at least into their teen years, if not all the way through. In 15 years, when that is done (assuming I have no more kids), will a computer degree really have much impact? Wow, I’ll know what was hot and happening back in 2000. Woohoo! That’s real marketable. I’ve been working for years as a web designer without these degrees, so why would I need them all of the sudden?

If I wanted a degree to further advance my family, then I think a degree in literature, nutrition, or even nursing would be better.

If I am being completely honest, I want these degrees for my ego. That is the plain truth. I want everyone to know I’m smart. I don’t want people to think I’m a quitter. I want to be respected.

But what does God think of that? He obviously doesn’t care. He knows my intentions. He knows that it takes time from my children. I can’t imagine myself backing out now though, especially considering all of the time and money I’ve invested in my education. It’ll only cost more to finish though.

So… that’s been what my mind has been fighting for the past few months. On that note, I want to share a quote from The Mission of Motherhood.

This quote from Chapter 3 really blessed me today, so I thought I’d share. For anyone who hasn’t read the book, she’s just gone through quite a few pages about how she has chosen to work during times, and that many families need 2 working parents, but this quote is in reference to being a SAHM.

If a woman chooses to stay at home with her children, she has the opportunity of nursing her baby in the peacefulness of her own home, caressing her precious little one, singing sweet lullabies to comfort and please the child’s deepest emotional desires. She can offer them the restfulness of long, quiet naps in their own bedrooms. She has time to enrich the home environment with beautiful sights and smells-from the aromas of homemade soup bubbling on the stove to beautiful pictures in books-and arrange outings that foster budding intellects and awaken curiosity. And she has the flexibility to change her schedule to respond to teachable moments-those times when children’s natural curiosity leads them to question and learn.

Best of all, when a mother chooses to stay at home, she has the time and opportunity to craft the kind of relationship with her young children that only extended time together can foster. And from such a relationship she has a better chance of building a strong moral and spiritual foundation in the heart of her young child, teaching a system of truth and values without the constant challenge of authorities and peers whose lives are totally different. When these advantages are taken away from a child, how can we not count them as a loss to a whole generation of children who are hungry for direction, love, stability, and individual attention?

This chapter reminded me of how thankful I am for the time that I have with my children. If I was gone during the day, then they’d be at a daycare, where they could not get the same kind of attention. We have no family nearby or anyone else that could take them, and I can’t imagine missing these days with them. I am truly blessed and so thankful for my position.