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Rules for driving in California

September 24, 2011 by amanda 3 Comments

Above: A driver-friendly intersection in San Francisco. Please note that none of these are indicating a U-turn. They are each different roads.

 

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind. We were sucked out of our life in Colorado and dropped off in Northern California. Since being here, I’ve learned:

  1. Drivers in the Bay Area put one hand in the 10:00 position on the wheel and the other hand firmly on the horn.
  2. Horns should be used for all occasions: Honk when someone goes slower than you’d like; Honk when someone goes faster than you’d like; Honk at pedestrians in a parking lot as you’re driving past (so as to warn them that you are willing to plow them down rather than slow down and wait for them to cross)
  3. If in doubt, be aggressive.
  4. Never yield; Yielding shows weakness. See #3.
  5. If a light is not operating correctly, floor it and lay on the horn.
  6. If you need to get on the freeway, expect the entrance to be on the side opposite of what logic would tell you.
  7. Intersections should include at least 5 different roads.

It probably doesn’t help that our rental van has Alabama license plates (complete with the “Sweet Home” tagline on the top.) I think that makes us look like easy victims.

Luckily, my husband (who, in our former life, once considered honking our horn, but didn’t press hard enough on the wheel because he was concerned about the loud noise), has taken to California driving like a pro. He is cutting people off like the best of them. I think we’ll be OK.

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Filed Under: Musings

Superfoods RX

September 6, 2011 by amanda 1 Comment

Superfoods RX

 

Sometimes I feel like I’m over-read on the topic of nutrition. Despite this, I really like finding new nutrition books. They help me to keep my focus and remind me of why I make the food choices that I do. Granted, I don’t come across too much information that I haven’t read before, but it is still a great way to keep this topic at the front of my mind. I decided to pick up a copy of Superfoods RX after seeing it highly recommended, and I’m really glad that I did.

Superfoods RX profiles 14 foods that “will change your life”. These foods are beans, blueberries, broccoli, oats, oranges, pumpkin, wild salmon, soy, spinach, tea, tomatoes, turkey and walnuts. One of the things that I really appreciate about this book is that it is really more like 14 food categories, rather than 14 individual foods. So, while pumpkin is excellent, the real point of the chapter on pumpkin is to remind you of why orange veggies in general are so important.

In each chapter, Dr. Pratt (an ophthalmologist, btw) describes a superfood, its “sidekicks” (similarly healthy foods), and explains some of the research and benefits of the superfood. I enjoyed reading a chapter or two at a time, and it really did help me to be more mindful about consuming a variety of healthy foods. It is easy to get stuck in a rut, and I liked that this book gave me some gentle nudges to eat several healthy foods that I like, but I don’t always use in my regular rotation.

I really appreciate that he keeps going back to the reasons why you should be getting your nutrition through the whole food and not through supplements. He mentions the synergy of whole foods over and over again, and I think that is a fantastic message.

The main downside of this book for me was his insistence on low/no-fat dairy and his strong opinions against coconut oil. I happen to be a firm believer in the benefits of full-fat, raw dairy and unprocessed coconut oil. I also wouldn’t recommend the use of canola oil, although he does. Additionally, I probably would’ve nixed soy from the superfoods list, but I can appreciate why he came to the conclusion that he did. Each of these things is easy to adjust for your personal convictions, though, and weren’t enough to strongly sway my opinion on the book.

The second half of this book contains recipes, shopping lists and brand recommendations for each of the superfoods. That part of the book could make it worth buying (rather than checking out from the library) if you need some fresh ideas on how to prepare the superfoods. If you don’t live near a Trader Joes then this section will be a bit less helpful, because he is clearly a big fan of their items.

Overall, I really liked this book. I’d recommend it to anyone who is interested in learning more about the importance of healthy, whole foods. I also think this book is good for those of us who already know why whole foods are important in our diet, but would like a reminder and some fresh motivation for eating our fruits, vegetables and healthy fats.

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Filed Under: Book Talk

Gratefulness

August 15, 2011 by amanda 1 Comment

I’m currently reading The Happiness Project. I’m enjoying it. I kind of like to hear about all of the different things that people adjust in their lives in order to feel happier. I find it particularly fascinating that people often choose to focus on tasks that are the opposite of what other people might choose. For example, some people need to learn to say “yes” more, and others need to learn to say “no” more. Some people need to learn to do one thing at a time, and others need to learn to do everything at once. As I’ve read, I’ve thought a lot about which categories I fall into. I like books that make me think 🙂

Also, I really like reading about the small things that people choose to remember. One of the points of the book is that we need to be intentional about remembering the happy times if we want them to have the maximum benefit. I feel like my last 6 months (since my mom was diagnosed with leukemia) have gone by in a whirl, so I want to be more mindful to experience the great times in the moment AND remember them later.

While reading, I came across this quote from William Edward Hartpole Lecky. I have definitely thought this during the past 6 months.

There are times in the lives of most of us when we would have given all the world to be as we were but yesterday, though that yesterday had passed over us unappreciated and unenjoyed.

No kidding. We need to love and live each day to the fullest, because who knows what tomorrow might bring? I’ve been trying to remember to appreciate each day as it comes, rather than looking forward to the way things might be some day, because that “some day” may not look like I plan.

So, on that note: I’d love to hear what you’re thankful for!

I am so grateful for my family.

My 1-year-old made the shift today from calling me “mama” to calling me “mommy”. It is such a little thing, but it is another step down the road to her growing up. Last night she was teething and woke up… I don’t know… a billion and a half times. Each time she woke up, she said, “MOMMY!” …I won’t lie, I would’ve been perfectly happy with only hearing it once or twice while I was trying to sleep, LOL. Still, though, it made me smile when I was in that half-asleep, half-awake state. I think I was dreaming that she needed me to help her put puzzle pieces together, because the kids and I have been working on a really hard Big Ben puzzle.

Speaking of which, I am very thankful for the time that I’ve gotten to spend this weekend with my older two. They’re really enjoying doing a big puzzle with me. I haven’t done a puzzle in so long, because the last 10 years of my life have been spent with toddlers running around… and toddlers and big puzzles usually don’t mix. I thought my older two would enjoy trying a puzzle, though, so I picked one up on a whim. My husband took our younger two out last night, so my 9-year-old, my 7-year-old and I had a serious puzzling nerd-fest. It was awesome. It reminded me of a time at my Grandma’s house when I was able to join in on a puzzle with the adults. I remember how grown up I felt, and I recognized the same excitement in my kids. Too cute.

Also, while we worked on the puzzle, I had the chance to sit and listen as my kids pondered the greed of world leaders and the sadness of war. They talked a lot about the wars that we’ve studied in history, from the ancient Mesopotamians to current times. I am thankful that I had the chance to soak in their wisdom. I don’t know how I ended up with such smart kids.

this requires our thinking caps...

And, then, my 3-year-old. How could I not be thankful for her? Today, as my older two worked on creative writing assignments for homeschool, she decided to write a story too. Her story was about a quesadilla. I must admit: She did a very good job of writing out the Q, U, E, S (which looks like a Z, but don’t count that against it) and A. It was so cute, watching her slightly wink her right eye, stick her tongue out, and concentrate on drawing the best possible “Q”. I know from experience that it is too easy to forget about these small steps. When I look at my 9-year-old, it is already getting hard to remember the days when he was this small. Sure, I remember the big things, but the day-to-day memories are starting to fade. Thank God for my journals!

quesadilla
Q-U-E-S-A (although it looks more like "Z-Q-U-A-E", LOL)

So… what are you grateful for today? May you have a day that is enjoyed to the fullest! <3

 

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Filed Under: Book Talk, Musings

21 Days of Yoga

August 2, 2011 by amanda 2 Comments

I was just reading about the 21-day yoga challenge on Eat, Live, Run, and I decided that it sounded like a great idea! I always feel better when I’m practicing yoga regularly. Truth be told, I’m a bit of a Zumba addict, so yoga has taken a back seat… I’ve been going to a few yoga classes a month, but I haven’t been as regular with it as I’d like to be.

Anyways, so why 21 days? It is good because it is a small, attainable goal. 21 days is the amount of time that Dr. Maxwell Maltz claimed in his book (in 1960) that it takes to a form a habit, so it is now a popular number to choose. Realistically, the “science” behind that isn’t really backed up today. He arrived at this number because that is about how long it takes people who’ve lost a limb to adjust. In actuality, the latest research points to 66 days being the point at which habits take the deepest root. So, since we aren’t losing limbs here, at least 21 days will give us a good head start on forming a new habit. 😛

Even if you don’t stick with it after the 21 days, regular yoga practice for the next 3 weeks can have a positive impact on everything from your stress and anxiety levels to your sleep and sex life.

The rules of the challenge are that you need to spend at least 5 minutes on your mat for it to count for the day. That’s easy enough!

When I’m practicing at home, I love trying the MANY free yoga podcasts. Here are a few that you might like too:

Yoga Today Free Weekly Class Video

Yoga Journal Free Podcast

Dave Farmar – Baptiste Power Yoga – Podcast

Yoga to the People Podcast

Elsie’s Yoga Classes

For my first day of the challenge, I did this overall toning series from Yoga Journal. It is less than half an hour long, so it was a little easier to fit into my day.

Have fun!

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Filed Under: Yoga

Into Thin Air

August 1, 2011 by amanda 3 Comments

Into Thin Air: A Personal Account of the Mt. Everest Disaster by Jon Krakauer

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

 

 

Wow.

I guess I haven’t been doing the lightest of reading over the past few days, but this book definitely has me thinking.

Into Thin Air is a personal account from a man who climbed Mount Everest as part of a commercial climb in 1996. The climb ended in tragedy, with the mountain claiming the lives of many of the members of the teams. The author, Jon Krakauer, attempts to tell his recollection of the events, keeping in mind that everyone lacks clarity when you are at that altitude and your mind and body are deprived of oxygen. He discovers along the way that he misjudged and misremembered events that happened on the mountain, and the story has a huge element of surprise when he learns where he made mistakes.

It seems wrong to say that I “enjoyed” this book, since it is about such a tragic subject. I guess the best thing that I can think to say is that this book was fascinating. Before I picked it up, I knew very little about climbing Everest. I had no idea that an attempt to reach the summit included going up and down portions of the mountain several times, and over a period of 4 weeks. I assumed that it was more like climbing a less-imposing mountain, where you are always camping higher until you reach the summit. I didn’t know that it was much more of a two-steps-forward/two-steps-back endeavor.

I also didn’t realize that helicopter evacuations are not possible anywhere near the top of the mountain, so your options for getting the injured down from the summit are very limited. I guess I had never considered all of the physical limitations that come with that kind of altitude. Supplemental oxygen is a necessity for survival over more than a day or so, and all oxygen must be carried up. That means that if something goes wrong, there isn’t an abundance of time for action.

I would highly recommend this book, even though the subject is so sad. There are still great stories of survival and human strength contained in it. It really underscores the fact that tragedy can happen to even the best climbers. Nature is just such a powerful force.

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Filed Under: Book Talk

Mothers and Other Liars

June 17, 2011 by amanda Leave a Comment

Mothers and Other Liars by Amy Bourret

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Mothers and Other Liars is the story of a teenager who finds an infant and decides to raise her as her own. Almost 10 years later, she reads an article in a magazine and finds out that the baby’s parents are searching for their infant who was kidnapped by carjackers. From that point on, the story unfolds in the midst of the ethical dilemmas of whether or not to turn to the legal system, parental rights, and how to cope when time with your children has been lost.

Like many of the other reviewers on goodreads, I’m unsure of how to rate this book. Yes, the story is unrealistic and too “neat”, but it also stirred a lot of emotion in me. I cried as I read. I didn’t want to put it down. On the other hand, I also found myself incredibly frustrated with the characters…often annoyed at their selfishness.

I think this would be a good book for a book club, because there are a lot of opportunities for ethical discussions that would be interesting to hash out.
View all my reviews

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The Family Dinner

June 14, 2011 by amanda 1 Comment

People say they don’t have time to cook, yet in the last few years we have found an extra two hours a day for the internet. — Michael Pollan, author of The Omnivore’s Dilemma

There is nothing like a crisis to remind you of what is important in life.

Over the past few months, as my family has adjusted to our current, leukemia-battling life, I’ve come to appreciate just how important family dinners are for all of us. When my mom was released from the hospital after her induction therapy, I realized that cooking big dinners for my parents and my family was healing for me. I’ve always loved food, and I show love with healthy, yummy food, so it just felt “right”.

Not surprisingly, as times of higher-stress have come… times when I’ve been at the hospital for large chunks of time (including dinner time), we’ve eaten out more. Not only have our bodies screamed that they don’t appreciate crappy food, but so have our spirits. It just isn’t the same.

So, it isn’t a shock that I was instantly drawn to The Family Dinner: Great Ways to Connect with Your Kids, One Meal at a Time by Laurie David. Part book and part cookbook, it is a nice reminder of why I value family meals so much.

The encouragement, recipes, and ideas for family rituals are really beautiful. I love the place setting, conversation starters, table games and music ideas. Each recipe includes a list of prep/cooking items that kids can do. Are these things necessary for a great family meal? Absolutely not. They are fun, though 🙂

Some parts of our family meals have been harder to keep up during this high-stress time, and one of those was our Shabbat meal with homemade challah bread. It is something that my kids love — the fresh bread, lighting candles, giving thanks… I smiled when I saw Shabbat meals mentioned in the first chapter and again later in the book, and realized that I’ve really missed those Friday night meals. I’m re-instituting them, effective immediately 😉

…I think Shabbat is a perfect concept for any family, regardless of religion. It’s just too great an idea not to do your own version: a special night once a week where everyone knows they will sit leisurely around the table, take stock of the week’s highs and lows, and savor family, food, and friends… — The Family Dinner pg. 199

On top of everything else: This book is just beautiful. The quotes and photography are lovely, and it is a joy to read. I can see how it’d be an encouragement for both those who already practice a family dinner or for those who want to start one.

(For the record, I didn’t get a free copy or any compensation. I had to check the book out at the library ;))

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Filed Under: Book Talk, Meal Planning

Starbucked

June 10, 2011 by amanda 1 Comment

I am not sure what led me to pick up Starbucked, but I am glad that I did. I’ve certainly had my fair share of frappuccinos over the years, but I am hardly a Starbucks loyalist. As far as coffee chains go, I actually really prefer Caribou Coffee, which, thanks to this book, I now know is owned by an Islamic group that requires them to follow portions of Shari’ah Law. I had no idea…

But, back to Starbucks:

Clark starts out by discussing the draw of Starbucks. I hadn’t considered it before, but this section spurred a lot of thought in my mind and amongst me and my friends. Starbucks is marketed as a way to indulge yourself and it is an inexpensive way to have something that seems luxurious. For only a few dollars, you can feel like you are pampering yourself. The marketing is brilliant, and the demand for their product is seemingly endless.

Clark also discusses the placement of Starbucks stores. Years ago, Starbucks executives realized that they could put in a store directly across the street from another store, and it would draw an almost completely different crowd. The Starbucks real estate team is top-notch, and they evaluate not just neighborhood education levels, number of children, and where traffic flows, but also the number of times a person visits a shopping center (dry cleaners and video stores are great neighbors for Starbucks, because you have to go back a second time to drop off or pick up items) or even the number of oil stains in a parking lot. Starbucks is perfectly happy to offer large sums of money to landlords in order to oust competitive coffee stores. They will even leave a retail space empty, just to keep it from being occupied by a competitor.

On the other hand, Starbucks has created an industry where one didn’t exist before, and this has greatly benefited local coffee shops. Even though Caribou, the next biggest competitor to Starbucks, has only about 1/4 the number of stores, smaller coffee shops have a very good success rate. The success is far better than that of independently owned restaurants. Also, independent shops tend to do very well when they are located near a Starbucks. It seems that people get hooked on Starbucks drinks (which are mostly milk — they contain just a few cents worth of coffee) and then they venture out and try local places.

This book is filled with these kind of dichotomies. Clark discusses the start of Starbucks (did you know that one of the founders of Starbucks bought Peet’s coffee, which was their initial inspiration, and sold Starbucks?), the coffee bean industry, the fair-trade debate, the way that Starbucks treats its employees, the way that Starbucks kills culture when it invades a new country, the fact that Starbucks basically sells milk, the fact that the espresso at Starbucks is no longer made by the baristas, but by machines, and so much more. It all goes back to what I said above… Starbucks is a big corporate monster, and yet Starbucks has helped a lot of people too. It isn’t black-and-white, and that is precisely why I liked this book. It would’ve been easy to take one side or the other (read Pour Your Heart Into It, the book written by the long-time CEO of Starbucks if you’re looking for a one-sided view.)

I don’t plan on frequenting Starbucks. I will continue to support the local coffee shops and the smaller chains, but I can appreciate the way that Starbucks has changed our world, both for good and for bad. This book was a fairly entertaining read, and I will never look at the coffee industry in the same way!

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Gut bacteria and being “10 percent human”

June 10, 2011 by amanda Leave a Comment

E. Coli - Photo credit: balder2111

I just finished reading this article on NPR about gut bacteria, and I thought it was worth sharing. I find it reassuring that our particular kinds of bacteria are attracted to us and will find us even after they’ve been killed off. I shared a similar story a year or two ago, but back then I didn’t realize just how important bacteria would become in my life.

Gut bacteria has been on my mind a lot because of my mom. As I mentioned in my last post, my mom was diagnosed with leukemia earlier this year, and one of the big side effects of chemo and bone marrow transplant is that they have to do everything that they can to destroy your immune system. Your good bacteria is wiped out during that process, thanks to the mega-doses of antibiotics that are given to protect you while you are immune compromised from the chemo and transplant.

As a double-whammy, my mom is also unable to eat fermented and raw foods — including even many raw fruit/veggies — while she is in treatment. So, your good gut colonies are killed and you have no way to replenish them. Gut bacteria are so important for fighting infection (which is the number 1 cause of death during treatment), and yet they have to destroy them to keep the cancer away. It sucks!

Thinking that her good bacteria will find her and replenish is nice. It is scary to think of what we would do without our good bacteria. As the article says,

Right now, in your mouth, in your gut, on your skin, you are carrying about 10 times more bacteria cells than human cells. If you swallow antibiotics and kill a lot of them, a few weeks later, the same bacteria come bounding back. They’re staying.

“We are, in essence, only 10 percent human,” Dr. Roy Sleator, lecturer at Cork Institute of Technology in Ireland, told The Daily Telegraph. “The rest is pure microbe.”

On a side note:

As my mom has gone through her treatment, the stress (and eating out, due to not being home nearly as much) has led me into a nasty cycle of inflammation (plus antibiotics) and has thrown my good bacteria all out of whack too. The bad guys have been trying to take over. 😛 During her first 2 months of treatment, I had several cases of mastitis and bursitis. The suffix “-itis” means inflammation, so you can see the trend. Many things can increase inflammation in our body: stress, sugar and refined foods are especially big culprits. So, I’ve been trying to go on more hikes (to help me chill out), go to the gym (same), and to prepare healthy food ahead of time (foods that are also consistent with an anti-inflammatory diet) so we aren’t as tempted to eat out. It is amazing what a difference it can make.

In the end, this whole experience has already been a huge lesson on just how fragile our bodies are, and how important it is to give our bodies the right fuel and de-stress as much as it is possible. One common theme that I’ve noticed is that the overwhelming majority of cancer survivors that we’ve met were also people who transitioned away from the standard American diet and did things to nourish themselves, both inside and out. Research backs this up. Healthy diets and lifestyles give you the best chance of living cancer-free. It certainly isn’t a guarantee, but if I can make changes that will lead to greater health, then I want to do what I can. It sounds like my basic gut bacteria make-up will be here to stay, and that is fine by me 😉 I just need to get them healthy again!

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Filed Under: News

2011 has been a real doozy…

June 2, 2011 by amanda Leave a Comment

As some of you know, my mom was diagnosed with an aggressive form of leukemia earlier this year. All of our lives have turned upside-down while we’ve adjusted to her new schedule of treatments and procedures. As is so often the case with difficult times, we’re all learning and growing from the experience. She moved across the country for treatment, so she’s now living in our town. That part has been great. My parents have been able to watch my youngest learn how to talk and walk, which is so cool.

My mom has been on a very aggressive chemo schedule as she is awaiting a bone marrow transplant. They were able to find a donor in the national donor registry (please consider placing yourself on the life-saving donor list!), and her transplant is scheduled to take place on June 16th. It has been a challenging road so far, but we are hopeful that the transplant will be successful.

I have quite a few things that I’ve wanted to write about, so I’m going to go try to get those posts up…

Many thanks to everyone who has been supportive as we’ve gone through this storm. I love you all!

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Filed Under: Thoughts

52 books… Want to join me?

January 18, 2011 by amanda 6 Comments

This year I’m trying to read 52 books. I’m currently right on track, woohoo! My handy Kindle has been a great help, because I can read behind my nursling’s head without distracting her. Turning pages on a real book inevitably makes her reach and grab. Hooray for e-ink!

So, here are my first three books of the year:

#1 – Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
Jane Eyre

I really have no idea how I made it this far in my life without reading Jane Eyre. It was such a great book. I have every intention of re-reading it, because I loved it so much. I was excited to find out that a new movie version is going to be released soon. I definitely want to see it!

#2 – Listening to Your Hormones by Gillian Ford
This really wasn’t a bad book, but it wasn’t my absolute favorite. She has a lot of great information about hormones and the female reproductive system, but I didn’t like how much she focused on taking hormones as a remedy. I think her approach is valuable for women with serious problems, but that most women could benefit from more natural remedies.

#3 – Lives in the Balance: Nurses’ Stories from the ICU
Lives in the Balance

Admittedly, I decided to read this book when I saw that it was offered for free on the Kindle. I was nursing a sleepy baby and wanted something new to read while she dozed off…

Although this book was clearly not penned by professional authors, it is still quite good. I enjoyed it, and I appreciated the glimpse into the lives of nurses in the ICU. It was far less gory than I expected, and instead focused almost exclusively on the emotional and relational aspects of the job. I’m really glad that I gave it a try.

….And, I have one more book that I want to mention, even though I technically read it last year (I finished on December 28th.)


Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption
Unbroken

I am a make-love-not-war kind of girl, so I wasn’t sure how interested I’d be in a story that revolves around war and the cruelties that take place therein. I am SO glad that I decided to read it. The story is very well-told, and it was difficult to put down even during the parts of the book that dealt with sensitive subject matters. You really couldn’t ask for a better message, and I found this story to be really inspiring.

In reading Unbroken, I was reminded of how lacking my modern history exposure was in high school. Inevitably, we’d run out of time before the end of the year, so we’d learn something like “…then there was the great depression, two world wars, Kennedy, Vietnam, Reagan, and then today!” We never went into any detail. Reading more details about the second World War was fascinating. I can imagine reading portions of this book with my children when they’re older (maybe the whole thing… when they’re MUCH older), because she does such a great job of making the topic engaging. It is truly a Living Book, as Charlotte Mason would say.

Well, I’m off to read some more. I hope everyone is having a great new year!

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Filed Under: 52 Books

Slowing down

September 3, 2010 by amanda 1 Comment

Tonight my almost 3-year-old was having a tough time at dinner. She doesn’t really nap anymore, and every couple of days it catches up to her and she is sleepy before her normal bedtime. I asked if she wanted to go upstairs to lay down and snuggle for a few minutes. I wasn’t sure if she’d fall asleep or if we’d just have a little time of connection and then she’d be off on her way.

We talked for a few minutes and then she started drifting to sleep. Falling asleep is seemingly so unremarkable, but the beauty of the moment always makes me smile. I love to watch a toddlers’ eyes as they dance and sparkle. I only wish that we, as adults, could maintain that same quality in our eyes when we are awake. Soon, as sleep starts to set in, their eyes get quiet. Their eyelids start to get heavy. Their breaths become deep and rhythmic, like a perfect yoga session. It is one of those moments that always humbles me. The peace is contagious. I can’t help but breathe a little slower and relax my body too.

Tonight I laid there and thought about how easy it is to fall into a trap of thinking that you need to train your children to sleep, and then you’d miss out on watching these little daily miracles. It happens so much in our culture. We are encouraged to improve upon things. Babies fall asleep while nursing, but the books say that she must play after she eats! Humans are so resilient. We adapt even when our nature, our best system, is screwed with. It tricks people into thinking that just because something seems easier then it must be the “right” thing to do. If only life were so black and white that the easiest thing was the “right” thing 😉

It seems so cliche, but tonight I am thankful for the opportunity to be able to slow down, enjoy the breathtaking moments that are so easy to miss, and be present. It is so hard sometimes, but so centering. I missed a lot more of them with my oldest because I felt far more pressured by society to make him an “independent” sleeper or a “self-soother”. I am thankful for the opportunity to savor these moments now with each of my kids. Life passes so quickly.

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Filed Under: Attachment Parenting, Nighttime Parenting

The Containerization of our Children

July 23, 2010 by amanda 11 Comments

LOVE this article!
The Containerization of Infants

The article talks about the huge changes that have happened in just two generations…

recent research study replicated a study done in the 1940’s, in which psychological researchers asked kids age 3, 5, and 7 to do a number of exercises. Today’s 5 year olds were acting at a level of 3 year olds, 60 years ago, and today’s 7 year olds were barely approaching the level of the 5 year old (1, 4, 5). In the 1940’s, children were reported to walk at 8-12 months of age, now children are reported to begin walking at 12-15 months of age (2). Realistically speaking that is only a generation ago; that’s a huge decline in functional performance in a relatively short time span.

I’ve read about this in other places as well. Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering is the first book that comes to mind. Both Dr. Sarah Buckley (author of GBGM) and Brandi Breitback (author of the above article) focus on the importance of vestibular stimuli. In other words, a big part of how our babies learn is by experiencing the world around them through natural movement. Being in an infant bucket for many hours each day means that your baby is only checking out the ceiling (or sun hood), and her inner ear is not getting to register the movement that is NEEDED for their brain to develop. It is so important!

As Dr. Sarah Buckley says,

Movement stimulates the vestibular (balance) center and the cerebellum, at the base of the brain, helping to establish brain-wiring connections that have major consequences for later brain development. For example, an area called the cerebellar vermis, which is stimulated by movement, is now thought to be a crucial region for mental health in adulthood.

As the article says,

As we look back at how infants were cared for one to two generations ago, we can imagine that infants had much more exposure to movement and seeing the world from changing angles and depths. It is more likely that a mother of generations ago would put her baby in one arm or on her hip and go about her day; the baby at that point experiences several positional changes from the mother’s body moving, as well as from the mother likely changing holds on the baby. In this manner, the baby is then experiencing changing vestibular and proprioceptive inputs that are natural to a mother’s movement and gravitational force. Baby-carrying provides the elements of pressure, motion, pleasure, warmth, security, sound that is essential to the development of the vestibular nervous system

We were at the Apple store the other day, and the employees were shocked at my husband and I. It wasn’t because we had 4 kids — as a matter of fact, 3 of them were not with us. We only had our 4-month-old, and we were carrying her in-arms. I had a clean diaper in my purse, but no giant diaper bag or baby paraphernalia. The employees couldn’t believe it. This one guy, who was in his early 20s, was all, “That’s so cool. You’re just rockin’ it with your baby and no stroller or baby bags or anything.” They all thought it was so novel. 😛

In the grand scheme of things, the employees were really quite close in age to me. I’m fairly sure that none were younger than 20, so we didn’t have 10 years between us. They grew up around infant buckets, though, and I didn’t because they weren’t popular when I was little. It was funny to me and my husband as we watched them process that we were just carrying a baby.

I understand the appeal of being able to strap your baby into the carseat, unhook them at the mall and place them in the stroller, shop, and then wheel them back to the car where they plug right back in. Sometimes life works out where you just need your hands/body free or you can’t carry your baby for some other reason, but why not carry our babies when we can? How many times have you seen a baby crying and the mother frantically pushing the stroller back and forth? (Actually, I think I WAS that mother at least once when my oldest was a baby…) Our babies’ brains are AMAZING, and they are hard wired to want to be picked up. As Dr. Sarah J. Buckley says in her book, part of why babies developed the desire to be held was so they could ensure that they were safe and not attacked by a predator… throughout time, babies have needed someone to hold them!

And, honestly, how else are you going to get to smell all of that yummy baby smell? MMmmmm! Mommas are made to want to carry babies too 😉 Our society has redefined the norm, but that doesn’t change how we are made.

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Filed Under: Attachment Parenting, Baby Wearing

Time Spent Together

July 21, 2010 by amanda Leave a Comment

The National Family Institute reported that the average American child spends 12.5 minutes each day communicating with her parents. Of that time, 8.5 minutes are spent on corrections, criticisms, or arguments. A University of Iowa study revealed that on average, a child hears 432 negative comments daily, compared to 32 positive ones (Hochschild, 1997.)

Isn’t that a scary number?

Here’s another one:

If you concentrate on playing with young children for at least five minutes a day, you may reduce power struggles by as much as fifty percent.

Amen! I completely agree!

I’ve been reading Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky Bailey for the past few weeks, and it has been wonderful. It has really been the perfect timing for me. As with almost all parenting books we read, Joe and I have been using the techniques primarily on ourselves, lol. It is humbling to see all of the ways that we can improve. What I really love about this book is the focus on your own thought patterns and how they impact your relationships with others.

I hope to come back and discuss it more… Hopefully in the next week! I am insanely busy between the kids, midwifery school, finishing my doula certification, working on my herbalism class, and taking a few web design jobs. Hopefully it’ll slow down soon… I have a big assignment to turn in for my midwifery school and I expect to have a little more blogging time once it is submitted. 🙂 (Well, except then it’ll be time to work on the next big assignment, LOL!)

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Filed Under: Attachment Parenting, Parenting and Family Books

Sabbath

May 27, 2010 by amanda 3 Comments

(from http://www.sabbathmanifesto.org/)

To me, there is something magical about the Sabbath. My religious history is a bit strange. I was raised with a mix of various flavors of Judaism along with pretty much the whole gamut of Protestantism (evangelical, mainline, charismatic…) I am thankful for the diversity that I was exposed to, and it has made for an interesting transition to finding the best fit for worship in my life.

It seems like every few years I go through a new (deeper) frustration with the evangelical church in America. There is a series on Internet Monk right now that almost perfectly sums up our issues. I am lucky to have an amazing husband who has dealt with the same frustrations. Why does the mainstream evangelical church in America look and feel so WRONG? Why are they (and I can’t even say “we”, because I can’t self-identify with them at this point) living, as the post on Internet Monk says, “of the world, but not in it.”

We know that we want to be DOING more of what Jesus taught, rather than just sitting in an auditorium and participating in a liturgy-that-pretends-to-not-be-because-they’re-too-cool-for-that. The problem is in finding how to live that out in the midst of our insanely busy lives. We have no problem finding other believers who feel the same way that we do, but they’re all so busy too!

One solution that has worked well for us (over the past 5 years or so) to reducing the “busyness” is to celebrate a more traditional Sabbath. The site above is nice because it has some bullet points to point you in the right direction if celebrating a Sabbath is new for you. Taking the intentional time to unplug, light some candles, make a special dinner, and enjoy it with those you love can make such a difference. Taking the following day to serve and seek spiritual nourishment is amazing. Those times have given us SO much more growth than any other spiritual practice.

I am excited to see where God leads us next. Our journey as a family has been so rewarding, and my husband and I have discussed many times how humbling it is to look back. I cannot speak highly enough of the value of traditional spiritual disciplines, especially if looking at the American church makes you feel like crying.

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Filed Under: Spiritual Disciplines

Inner Separation Anxiety

May 12, 2010 by amanda 2 Comments

I subscribe to The Daily Groove, and I find that it often contains a little word of encouragement that is just what I need. Some of the wording is a little “out there”, but there is enough good stuff to keep me on the list.

Today’s Daily Groove was all about “Inner Separation Anxiety”. This is the idea that we can be physically present, but not there emotionally/spiritually/mentally and that our kids can feel that something is not right. That feeling causes them anxiety similar to if you were physically absent and they were having traditional separation anxiety.

This was a really good reminder for me. As we settle into our new routine with four kids, it can be challenging for me to be completely present during the day. My mind is often trying to sort through a million different things, even while I’m talking to or playing with my kids. One of my favorite quotes from GCM says that we cannot expect our children to be any more calm than we are. We set the tone for our house, and it is important to be mindful of that fact.

As Scott said in the Daily Groove:

Today, look for a correlation between your child’s state and your own. Is s/he more anxious when you feel off-center in some way? If so, let your child’s anxiety serve as a reminder to practice centering.

That is advice that I will definitely be taking  🙂

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Filed Under: Attachment Parenting

The Laundry Monster

May 5, 2010 by amanda 4 Comments

Laundry. It is my nemesis.

I am fairly good with everything else, but I just detest laundry. Actually, that isn’t true: I don’t mind washing a load, and I find something incredibly relaxing about hanging my laundry outside. I just hate folding and putting away!

I read a post from a wise, fellow mama-of-many, and she said that she turned a corner when she accepted that 2 loads of laundry a day was just a necessity. I thought about this and rejected it for a few months, but I recently decided to accept it. Something amazing has happened: My laundry isn’t so bad.

I’ve realized that I was trying to deny something that could not be denied. It was as if I wanted to pretend that gravity did not exist. It does not help to deny it, because the reality of it is still there whether you accept it or not. Just like with birth, life is so much easier and less painful if you accept it and just ride the waves. Fighting it only makes for frustration.

And, on that note, it is time to put another load in…

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Filed Under: Homekeeping

Christ and Firing Squads

April 23, 2010 by amanda 1 Comment

Today I was reading this story:

Condemned Utah Killer Will Face Firing Squad

http://abcnews.go.com/US/TheLaw/wirestory?id=10455328&page=2

I am not sure why I clicked on it… I am guessing that it has something to do with how bizarre it sounds to still have people facing firing squads. As I was reading the article, two things struck me that I wanted to flesh out somewhere.

The article says

…despite Utah’s strong religious roots — it’s the home of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints — most here support the use of the death penalty.

“I think in Utah, when it suits their purposes, they go back to the Old Testament and the ‘eye for an eye’ kind of thing,” Kalish said. “These people may be the worst of the worst, but if the best we can do is repeat the same thing, it’s so obviously wrong.”

I am always amazed that the “religious right” is also associated with the death penalty. It just seems so ridiculous. Let me preface by saying that this is a difficult subject for me. I have friends who have had family members murdered, and part of me feels uncomfortable telling them what should happen to someone who destroyed their family. At the same time, I don’t see any way that you can justify it as the “Christian” thing to do. I don’t think that anyone should have a right to have someone else killed just because they did the same. As the quote above says, ‘if the best we can do is the same thing, it’s so obviously wrong.’

As Shane Claiborne says in Jesus for President,

Violence kills the image of God in us… Violence goes against everything we are created for — to love and be loved — so it inevitably ends in misery and suicide, either literal or metaphorical.

When people succumb to violence, it infects them like a disease or poison that leads to their own death. Judas, the disciple who betrayed Jesus with a violent kiss, ended his life by hanging himself… Columbine, the 2006 Amish school shooting, the 9/11 terrorist attacks, the Virginia Tech massacre — each ended with suicide.

…

It’s in moments like these violent times that grace looks so magnificent. It’s in the shadow of violence that a victim’s grace to a muderer’s family shines so brightly, as in the aftermath of the Amish school shooting. It’s even more scandalous to think of killing someone who kills, for they, more than anyone in the world, need to hear that they are created for something better than that.

The second thing that stood out to me in the article was the fact that the man who was killed was also a pacifist.

“Michael would not be happy at all. Michael would have fought against the death penalty. That’s who he was,” said Temu, 62, a Salt Lake City-area funeral director who knew Burdell through their membership in the Summum church.

A pacifist who was drafted into the U.S. Army, Burdell served in Vietnam but vowed to never use a weapon on another person, Temu said.

To me, this makes it even more heartbreaking. The man who was killed would not have wanted his murderer’s life demanded in return. It is sad that the cycle of violence will continue on, and yet we know that redemptive violence is a myth. You cannot bring peace through violence. This act will ripple on as more are impacted through this execution.

Part of me wants to say that I don’t know what the answer is, but I truly believe that we Christians can see the answer by looking to the Bible. Why is it that the church has politically aligned ourselves with an idea that is so far from the concept of grace?

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Filed Under: Jesus for President - Claiborne

Sustainable fish

April 22, 2010 by amanda Leave a Comment

Tonight we had baked wrapped tilapia, quinoa, and sweet potatoes.  It was awesome. As I ate, I kept thinking about how I wish the public had more information on which fish are the safest and most sustainable to eat.

As many of you know, I am a bit of a freak when it comes to toxins. Toxins are highly present in a lot of fish, because fish tend to have longer food chains. Long food chains mean that there are a lot of extra opportunities for the toxins to accumulate.  When a big fish eats a smaller fish, it gets the lifetime accumulated toxin load from that fish and every fish (or other item) that the smaller fish ate.

Basically, that means that if you eat fish (or anything that had a mother), you want to eat lower on the food chain. Toxins are also lipophilic (attracted to fat), so fatty fish store more. This is why shrimp are less toxic than seals  😉 It is also why the native cultures who eat a lot of blubbery and fatty seafood that is also high on the food chain end up with the highest toxin body burdens in the world.

(As a side note, here is a nasty story about trash recently found in a whale’s gut. It was a fairly low volume of trash compared to food, but still gross. It contained sweatpants, a golf ball, over 20 plastic bags, surgical gloves, and more goodies….)

Anyways, so tilapia is one of the few kinds of fish that is considered to be “kid safe“.  That means that it is both low in toxins and sustainable. Tilapia eat mostly algae and aquatic plants, so they don’t have many opportunities to absorb toxins. The “kid safe” designation is really only true for tilapia from the US or other countries in the Americas. It is NOT true for Chinese tilapia (which is what most of the frozen stuff is.) Chinese fish farms have pollution and other environmental problems.

We have obviously gone back and forth on whether or not we’ve eaten fish. If you aren’t abstaining for moral or philosophical reasons, then fish can be a great way to get essential fatty acids. It is especially important for women who are pregnant, may become pregnant, or breastfeeding to be aware of what they’re eating, because our children are the highest on the food chain as they are nourished from our body. See this article on mothering.com, SafeMilk.org, or the amazing book, Having Faith for more info on toxins in pregnancy and breastfeeding. 🙂 Happy eating!

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Filed Under: Environmental

The Functions of the Orgasms

January 31, 2010 by amanda 2 Comments

I am sure that just including the phrase “The Functions of the Orgasms” in my blog will get me all sorts of unwanted traffic. I apologize in advance if you find my blog when you were looking for something more exciting 😉 But, really, this book is so awesome that you should stay and read about it anyways, lol.

The basic premise behind this book (which is written by the fabulous Michel Odent) is that we have ecstatic/orgasmic states throughout life, and three important times of them happening are when we have the sperm ejection reflex, the fetus ejection reflex and the milk ejection reflex. Basically, the same hormones are used when you make a baby, push a baby out, and feed a baby. The scary thing is that

Due to the improved technique of medically assisted conceptions and cesareans, the advances in anesthesiology and pharmacology, and the development of the food industry, women can now conceive a baby, give birth, and feed their infant without relying on the release of ‘cocktails of love hormones.’

It really is fascinating. The hormones that we release during these orgasmic states help us to bond and even create a state of dependency. Whether you believe in creation or evolution, our bodies have been designed somehow to release these hormones at those times.

I have a couple of topics that I want to write from this book, but for now I’ll just highly suggest that you buy it. If you’d like to read it along with a group, the unassisted childbirth reading room is currently working their way through it. Come hang out with us! Note that I have never had an unassisted childbirth, but am still active in the group 😉

Oh, and while I’m at it, I’ll give another plug for Sarah Buckley’s article on this topic as it relates to the hormones of birth:
http://www.sarahjbuckley.com/articles/ecstatic-birth.htm

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Filed Under: Pregnancy

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