Mothers and Other Liars

Mothers and Other Liars by Amy Bourret

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Mothers and Other Liars is the story of a teenager who finds an infant and decides to raise her as her own. Almost 10 years later, she reads an article in a magazine and finds out that the baby’s parents are searching for their infant who was kidnapped by carjackers. From that point on, the story unfolds in the midst of the ethical dilemmas of whether or not to turn to the legal system, parental rights, and how to cope when time with your children has been lost.

Like many of the other reviewers on goodreads, I’m unsure of how to rate this book. Yes, the story is unrealistic and too “neat”, but it also stirred a lot of emotion in me. I cried as I read. I didn’t want to put it down. On the other hand, I also found myself incredibly frustrated with the characters…often annoyed at their selfishness.

I think this would be a good book for a book club, because there are a lot of opportunities for ethical discussions that would be interesting to hash out.
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The Family Dinner

People say they don’t have time to cook, yet in the last few years we have found an extra two hours a day for the internet. — Michael Pollan, author of The Omnivore’s Dilemma

There is nothing like a crisis to remind you of what is important in life.

Over the past few months, as my family has adjusted to our current, leukemia-battling life, I’ve come to appreciate just how important family dinners are for all of us. When my mom was released from the hospital after her induction therapy, I realized that cooking big dinners for my parents and my family was healing for me. I’ve always loved food, and I show love with healthy, yummy food, so it just felt “right”.

Not surprisingly, as times of higher-stress have come… times when I’ve been at the hospital for large chunks of time (including dinner time), we’ve eaten out more. Not only have our bodies screamed that they don’t appreciate crappy food, but so have our spirits. It just isn’t the same.

So, it isn’t a shock that I was instantly drawn to The Family Dinner: Great Ways to Connect with Your Kids, One Meal at a Time by Laurie David. Part book and part cookbook, it is a nice reminder of why I value family meals so much.

The encouragement, recipes, and ideas for family rituals are really beautiful. I love the place setting, conversation starters, table games and music ideas. Each recipe includes a list of prep/cooking items that kids can do. Are these things necessary for a great family meal? Absolutely not. They are fun, though :)

Some parts of our family meals have been harder to keep up during this high-stress time, and one of those was our Shabbat meal with homemade challah bread. It is something that my kids love — the fresh bread, lighting candles, giving thanks… I smiled when I saw Shabbat meals mentioned in the first chapter and again later in the book, and realized that I’ve really missed those Friday night meals. I’m re-instituting them, effective immediately ;)

…I think Shabbat is a perfect concept for any family, regardless of religion. It’s just too great an idea not to do your own version: a special night once a week where everyone knows they will sit leisurely around the table, take stock of the week’s highs and lows, and savor family, food, and friends… — The Family Dinner pg. 199

On top of everything else: This book is just beautiful. The quotes and photography are lovely, and it is a joy to read. I can see how it’d be an encouragement for both those who already practice a family dinner or for those who want to start one.

(For the record, I didn’t get a free copy or any compensation. I had to check the book out at the library ;) )

Starbucked

I am not sure what led me to pick up Starbucked, but I am glad that I did. I’ve certainly had my fair share of frappuccinos over the years, but I am hardly a Starbucks loyalist. As far as coffee chains go, I actually really prefer Caribou Coffee, which, thanks to this book, I now know is owned by an Islamic group that requires them to follow portions of Shari’ah Law. I had no idea…

But, back to Starbucks:

Clark starts out by discussing the draw of Starbucks. I hadn’t considered it before, but this section spurred a lot of thought in my mind and amongst me and my friends. Starbucks is marketed as a way to indulge yourself and it is an inexpensive way to have something that seems luxurious. For only a few dollars, you can feel like you are pampering yourself. The marketing is brilliant, and the demand for their product is seemingly endless.

Clark also discusses the placement of Starbucks stores. Years ago, Starbucks executives realized that they could put in a store directly across the street from another store, and it would draw an almost completely different crowd. The Starbucks real estate team is top-notch, and they evaluate not just neighborhood education levels, number of children, and where traffic flows, but also the number of times a person visits a shopping center (dry cleaners and video stores are great neighbors for Starbucks, because you have to go back a second time to drop off or pick up items) or even the number of oil stains in a parking lot. Starbucks is perfectly happy to offer large sums of money to landlords in order to oust competitive coffee stores. They will even leave a retail space empty, just to keep it from being occupied by a competitor.

On the other hand, Starbucks has created an industry where one didn’t exist before, and this has greatly benefited local coffee shops. Even though Caribou, the next biggest competitor to Starbucks, has only about 1/4 the number of stores, smaller coffee shops have a very good success rate. The success is far better than that of independently owned restaurants. Also, independent shops tend to do very well when they are located near a Starbucks. It seems that people get hooked on Starbucks drinks (which are mostly milk — they contain just a few cents worth of coffee) and then they venture out and try local places.

This book is filled with these kind of dichotomies. Clark discusses the start of Starbucks (did you know that one of the founders of Starbucks bought Peet’s coffee, which was their initial inspiration, and sold Starbucks?), the coffee bean industry, the fair-trade debate, the way that Starbucks treats its employees, the way that Starbucks kills culture when it invades a new country, the fact that Starbucks basically sells milk, the fact that the espresso at Starbucks is no longer made by the baristas, but by machines, and so much more. It all goes back to what I said above… Starbucks is a big corporate monster, and yet Starbucks has helped a lot of people too. It isn’t black-and-white, and that is precisely why I liked this book. It would’ve been easy to take one side or the other (read Pour Your Heart Into It, the book written by the long-time CEO of Starbucks if you’re looking for a one-sided view.)

I don’t plan on frequenting Starbucks. I will continue to support the local coffee shops and the smaller chains, but I can appreciate the way that Starbucks has changed our world, both for good and for bad. This book was a fairly entertaining read, and I will never look at the coffee industry in the same way!

Gut bacteria and being “10 percent human”

E. Coli - Photo credit: balder2111

I just finished reading this article on NPR about gut bacteria, and I thought it was worth sharing. I find it reassuring that our particular kinds of bacteria are attracted to us and will find us even after they’ve been killed off. I shared a similar story a year or two ago, but back then I didn’t realize just how important bacteria would become in my life.

Gut bacteria has been on my mind a lot because of my mom. As I mentioned in my last post, my mom was diagnosed with leukemia earlier this year, and one of the big side effects of chemo and bone marrow transplant is that they have to do everything that they can to destroy your immune system. Your good bacteria is wiped out during that process, thanks to the mega-doses of antibiotics that are given to protect you while you are immune compromised from the chemo and transplant.

As a double-whammy, my mom is also unable to eat fermented and raw foods — including even many raw fruit/veggies — while she is in treatment. So, your good gut colonies are killed and you have no way to replenish them. Gut bacteria are so important for fighting infection (which is the number 1 cause of death during treatment), and yet they have to destroy them to keep the cancer away. It sucks!

Thinking that her good bacteria will find her and replenish is nice. It is scary to think of what we would do without our good bacteria. As the article says,

Right now, in your mouth, in your gut, on your skin, you are carrying about 10 times more bacteria cells than human cells. If you swallow antibiotics and kill a lot of them, a few weeks later, the same bacteria come bounding back. They’re staying.

“We are, in essence, only 10 percent human,” Dr. Roy Sleator, lecturer at Cork Institute of Technology in Ireland, told The Daily Telegraph. “The rest is pure microbe.”

On a side note:

As my mom has gone through her treatment, the stress (and eating out, due to not being home nearly as much) has led me into a nasty cycle of inflammation (plus antibiotics) and has thrown my good bacteria all out of whack too. The bad guys have been trying to take over. :P During her first 2 months of treatment, I had several cases of mastitis and bursitis. The suffix “-itis” means inflammation, so you can see the trend. Many things can increase inflammation in our body: stress, sugar and refined foods are especially big culprits. So, I’ve been trying to go on more hikes (to help me chill out), go to the gym (same), and to prepare healthy food ahead of time (foods that are also consistent with an anti-inflammatory diet) so we aren’t as tempted to eat out. It is amazing what a difference it can make.

In the end, this whole experience has already been a huge lesson on just how fragile our bodies are, and how important it is to give our bodies the right fuel and de-stress as much as it is possible. One common theme that I’ve noticed is that the overwhelming majority of cancer survivors that we’ve met were also people who transitioned away from the standard American diet and did things to nourish themselves, both inside and out. Research backs this up. Healthy diets and lifestyles give you the best chance of living cancer-free. It certainly isn’t a guarantee, but if I can make changes that will lead to greater health, then I want to do what I can. It sounds like my basic gut bacteria make-up will be here to stay, and that is fine by me ;) I just need to get them healthy again!

2011 has been a real doozy…

As some of you know, my mom was diagnosed with an aggressive form of leukemia earlier this year. All of our lives have turned upside-down while we’ve adjusted to her new schedule of treatments and procedures. As is so often the case with difficult times, we’re all learning and growing from the experience. She moved across the country for treatment, so she’s now living in our town. That part has been great. My parents have been able to watch my youngest learn how to talk and walk, which is so cool.

My mom has been on a very aggressive chemo schedule as she is awaiting a bone marrow transplant. They were able to find a donor in the national donor registry (please consider placing yourself on the life-saving donor list!), and her transplant is scheduled to take place on June 16th. It has been a challenging road so far, but we are hopeful that the transplant will be successful.

I have quite a few things that I’ve wanted to write about, so I’m going to go try to get those posts up…

Many thanks to everyone who has been supportive as we’ve gone through this storm. I love you all!