Really good in the end…

My rating:

I must admit that I was initially very skeptical of this book. I thought it might be punitive, guilt-based parenting in disguise, and I wrote about that in the past. The fact that the authors appeared on Family Life Today made me even more skeptical, haha. Mr. Turansky graciously responded to my criticisms, and I must humbly admit that I was wrong. I think I misjudged some of his words. I think that I can accept the things that I disagreed with once I look at them in the context of the entire book.

I would absolutely recommend this book to parents on either side of the parenting spectrum. I sincerely believe that my friends who are into punitive parenting would enjoy and learn from this book without being immediately turned off, and I think that my AP/GBD friends would love it just as much. I think it is fully in line with AP philosophy. I especially appreciated the final chapter. It focuses on how our children are not just our children, but also our brothers and sisters in Christ. I wish that more parents thought about this fact. I know that I am guilty of forgetting it very often. I was so impressed to see a mainstream Christian book that tackled this subject.

Overall, I would happily recommend this book to any parent. I even listed (and immediately sent out) my copy on paperbackswap, so that another parent could have access to this excellent resource. I am very strict about what I paperbackswap, because I would never want to send something on that I felt was not encouraging or uplifting for the family who will receive it. That is why I have a horrific copy of “Withhold Not Correction” sitting on my shelf that my mother-in-law gave me years ago. I do NOT want any other family to see someone suggest that you switch your children with a tree branch from your own yard!

Back on topic though… You can read my previous entries about Say Goodbye… on this page. If you end up reading the book, please post and let me know what you thought! I’d love to discuss it :)

Oh, and Merry Christmas!!!

Tolerance levels

I’m in a mad whirlwind while trying to finish up the 50 or so books that I have started but not finished in the past few years, so my posts will probably be quite a hodge-podge.  I am working on a big, long entry about Church History in Plain Language, but I shall save that for another night because I am nursing at the keyboard right now  :P

Tonight’s lesson for myself is on tolerance and comes from Turansky and Miller’s Say Goodbye…

People have an alarm in their heads that is set to a specific tolerance level.  When they’re irritated or annoyed, the alarm goes off.  Each person’s alarm is set differently…  The good news is that tolerance levels aren’t permanently set.

Recently I’ve been more tired (go figure… with a baby and all…) and I’ve noticed that my tolerance levels have gone down considerably.  At the same time I’ve noticed that my children’s tolerance levels with each other have gone down.  This is most certainly related.  I needed this little reminder tonight to let me know that I need to work on reseting my tolerance levels and not being so testy.  :P

This passage also prompted me to think about how each of my children respond to different circumstances.  For example, my son is incredibly tolerant when it comes to waiting for his turn, but he is not so tolerant when it comes to his personal space.  My daughter, on the other hand, is comfortable with people being quite close to her, but she has a tough time waiting for her turn.  My children can learn a lot from each other, and I can learn from each of them.  It is easy to forget that what may not bother you may be very annoying to someone else.

My review of Birth: The Surprising History of How We Are Born (rated 3 stars)

Birth: The Surprising History of How We Are Born

by Tina Cassidy


I just finished this book, and I was disappointed to recognize many sections of it from another book that I am currently reading, Milk, Money, and Madness. I don’t think the author exactly plagiarized, but its pretty close. For example, Cassidy says in Birth

At Dublin Foundling Hospital, of ten thousand hand-fed infants between 1775 and 1796, only forty-five survived infancy, an astounding mortality rate of 99.6 percent.

In Milk, Money, and Madness, it reads

At the Dublin Foundling Asylum during 1775-96, where dry nursing was in vogue, only 45 children survived out of 10,272-a horrendous 99.6% mortality rate.

Just a few paragraphs later Cassidy says

The ignorance and confusion surrounding bottle preparation spurred Nathan Straus, owner of Macy’s department store in New York, to give away pasteurized milk to poor children at philanthropic “stations,” a concept that had also taken hold in Europe…

Milk, Money, and Madness says

Milk stations were soon all the fashion. At the turn of the century, “milk depots” were established in France, Britain, and the United States… In New York, Nathan Strauss of Macy’s, working through health department clinics, organized milk stations where pasteurized, bottled milk was provided free for the needy and at low cost to others.

You get my point. I saw dozens of these kinds of passages, which was a real turn-off. Milk, Money, and Madness came out 11 years earlier, and apparently used fantastic sources since Cassidy lifted passages like the ones above.

My other complaint is that Cassidy swings back and forth throughout the text. First she talks about how its a miracle that any of us can survive childbirth and that we’ll soon all need C-sections because our kids keep getting bigger and bigger. Then she talks about how doctors are killing us all and homebirths with midwives are safer. Then she says she’d never homebirth.

I’m very glad that I read this after my latest pregnancy. Cassidy admits that she doesn’t trust her body, and it is evident in the text. I wouldn’t recommend this book to a pregnant woman.

Cassidy has some really cool pictures in here though. The chapter on C-sections was horrifying, but really interesting at the same time. I feel so many mixed emotions about this book. I’m glad that I read it, but I wonder if the sections that I liked could’ve been found in other books.