HippieMommy

posted by amanda on Apr 30

Sorry for another “local” post, but I just want to get the word out.

The authors of the 100 Mile Diet (also called Plenty here in the states) will be speaking in Boulder and Denver this week. They wrote a book about their experience on eating local (within 100 miles) for a year. I think it is a really interesting concept.

If you’re interested in the movement to eat local, then you should definitely come check it out. Even if you don’t live in Colorado, feel free to check out their website. They have a lot of other book tour stops, and the website is interesting even if you never hear them speak or read their book

http://100milediet.org/home/

Boulder, CO
Tuesday, May 1
Boulder Bookstore
7:30 - 8:30 pm
1107 Pearl Street
with Boulder Going Local!

Denver, CO
Wednesday, May 2
7:30 - 8:30 pm
Tattered Cover LoDo
1628 16th Street

posted by amanda on Apr 25

As I mentioned a few entries ago, hearing the heartbeat has made me much more focused.  Today I decided to resume my reading of Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth.  I got to the part where she talks about the fact that many women have excessive bleeding when they deliver the placenta, and my whole body tensed up.  I was pretty impressed that I noticed it, but freaked out that it not only scared me but also created a physical response.  Just a few paragraphs later I saw this

Remember this, for it is as true as true gets: Your body is not a lemon.  You are not a machine.  The Creator is not a careless mechanic.  Human female bodies have the same potential to give birth well as aardvarks, lions, rhinoceri, elephants, moose, and water buffalo.  Even if it has not been your habit throughout your life so far, I recommend that you learn to think positively about your body.

This is the core of it.  I am afraid that my body doesn’t work as well as it is supposed to.  Things have happened, and even if many were the result of interventions and modern science, it still rattles me a bit.  I said from the beginning that my biggest challenge would be in trusting my body and relaxing during the birth.  If I can relax and trust in peace, then I know I will be fine.  I’m just not exactly sure how to get there.

On a related note, I have recently realized how much I hold my stress in my body.  My yoga teacher commented last week that my shoulders were super tense.  I’ve been having a lot of migraines, and they always “sit” in my shoulders.  I am working so hard on relaxing my body, but its tricky.  Who knew that controlling your own body could be so challenging?

posted by amanda on Apr 19

I know that I have at least a few local readers. If you are anywhere near the Boulder/Denver area, please consider joining the Colorado Midwives Association for an evening with Ina May Gaskin (author of Spiritual Midwifery and Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth). She will be speaking about childbirth, breastfeeding, and parenting.

Here’s the important info:

Cost: $15 per person or $20 per couple

Location: The New Church of Boulder Valley
1370 Forest Park Circle
Lafayette, CO 80026

Date: May 4, 2007 at 7pm

The proceeds will help pay for legislative efforts to expand the scope of practice for Colorado midwives and continue to allow them to provide women with informed choices and individualized care. Come support Colorado midwives!

posted by amanda on Apr 17

I had a wonderful appointment with my midwife today, and we heard my baby’s heartbeat.  The kids were so excited.  It was such a joyous moment.  On the way home my son said “I like listening to the baby, mom.”

Me too.  I like it a lot.
I was almost this far along when we lost our first baby.  During all 3 pregnancies since the loss, I have become very nervous before hearing the heartbeat.  For the past week or so I have felt like my general anxiety levels were much higher, although I couldn’t put my finger on it.  After hearing the heartbeat, I realized  that this fear was causing my stress.  It melted away.  Even though I know that I didn’t cause my miscarriage, it still haunts me in many ways, and I guess this is one of them.

So I am now letting myself plan for our new baby.   I didn’t realize how much I was holding back until after I heard the heartbeat.  Now it is really hitting me.  There is so much to plan - so much to do.  I almost feel like I am starting over.  I keep remembering things I need: “Oh yeah, I need to grab the cloth diapers.  Where are my newborn clothes?  Do I still have a baby bath?  Has my Lansinoh expired? …. ”

Last night I went to a water aerobics class for pregnant and postpartum women, and there was a lady in there who had just given birth 7 weeks ago.  She was nervous and asking to borrow a cell phone because the baby was home with her husband.  When I looked at her face, all of those “new mom” emotions flooded back to me.  I can’t believe its all about to happen again.

Crazy.

posted by amanda on Apr 15

I’ve posted this kind of stuff in the past.  I think it is important for those of us who are AP/GBD/gentle parenting to make sure that we talk about our successes.  There are often complaints on GCM about the fact that it seems like everyone is raising terrible kids.  This impression can come from the fact that people read the GD/GBD forum, and the only people who post in there are people that need help - not people who are already doing it and reaping the rewards.  If you’re doing it well, and know what to do, then you will rarely be posting in that kind of forum.  The GD/GBD forum can give a skewed view to the outside world, and that part is sad.  Thankfully it is also an amazing resource if you are having problems, but it is not always the place to go for encouragement.

So anyways, for my latest happy story:

Tonight we went out to The Outback for dinner (yum!) When we were about halfway through our meal, an older woman came over to our table and said “I wanted to come over here and commend you for the job that you are doing on raising your children.  They are them most well-behaved children I have ever seen and it is obvious that you are great parents by the way that you interact.  This is one of the hardest ages for children, and you are doing an amazing job.”  She went on for a few minutes making us blush  ;)  She had grown children at the table with her, so she’s definitely been through parenting.  Once she left, dh and I smiled to each other, and blushed a little more, because she was so sweet about it.

The thing is - its not like today is a perfect day.  Julia (3) spiked a fever last night and is all stuffy.  She had a pretty rough day because she is sick.  It was a really nice reminder that the fruits of GBD are apparent even when your kids are sick or overtired or having a bad day or all of the above.

I have been so blessed to have wonderful parents to model grace based discipline to me.  I was raised this way, and I know that they will never know how much they blessed me through their parenting choices.  It gives me joy to think that we have the opportunity to give our children the same blessing.

posted by amanda on Apr 12

I have this terrible habit - sometimes I am in the middle of reading a really good book and I put it down and completely forget about it! I don’t know why this happens, but I guess I end up getting distracted by another book. This happened to me several YEARS ago with Anna Karenina, and I am just now picking it back up. It is SO good. I loved it when I was reading it. I love it now. What was I thinking?

In other news:

A book group that I am a member of, The Classical Review, is starting back up again. If you are a homeschooling mom who is using Charlotte Mason philosophies and wants to read (or re-read) some of the greats that you will be teaching your kids, then I invite you to join us. We are starting Mansfield Park, and I am super excited I think there should be so many more groups out there to encourage moms to read what we want our children to read, and this is a great way to do it Come and join us!

posted by amanda on Apr 3

Today as I was reading in Home Education by Charlotte Mason, I was thinking about how many different parents (including myself) now shy away from the word “obedience”. So many of the less desirable parenting styles have taken it over, and so it is hard to use it and still convey the proper message. I realized that I tend to use other words in place of obedience because of this. The section that I read today really reminded me that it is all in how you use it. I really like how Charlotte Mason approaches it as the child’s responsibility to obey, and not our job to make them obey. This is very much in agreement with grace based discipline She has a couple of points that I’d slightly rework, but hey, the text is 100 years old, so I can see how there could be some difficulty communicating.

Charlotte Mason says

It is said that the children of parents who are most strict in exacting obedience often turn out ill; and that orphans and other poor waifs brought up under strict discipline only wait their opportunity to break out into license.

Um yeah, totally true.

Exactly so; because, in these cases, there is no gradual training of the child in the habit of obedience; no gradual enlisting of his will on the side of sweet service and a free-will offering of submission to the highest law: the poor children are simply bullied into submission to the will, that is, the wilfulness, of another; not at all, ‘for it is right‘, only because it is convenient.

I am so glad that she addresses this. The fact is that many of the popular Christian parenting philosophies are all about bullying into submission and forcing the child to do it, not of their own free-will. This can never last. If the child is not choosing it for themselves, then why would they continue doing it when they no longer have to?

There is no need to rate the child, or threaten him, or use any manner of violence, because the parent is invested with the authority which the child intuitively recognises. It is enough to say, ‘Do this,’ in a quiet, authoritative tone, and expect it to be done. The mother often loses her hold over her children because they detect in the tone of her voice that she does not expect them to obey her behests; she does not think enough of her position; has not sufficient confidence in her own authority.

Yes, yes, yes. I find this so true in my own voice. When I am calm and respectful, so are my children. If I am getting flustered or upset, then my kids don’t have a calm role model anymore and they start following in my bad habits. I was sitting around watching moms today while I was at a drop-in Kindergarten for my kids, and I was struck by how true this is. It is true amongst the teachers, the parents, anyone in authority. Those who spoke calmly and were clear of what they expected had no problem with the children following through. Those who seemed to be asking the child a question did not get the same results.

Like I said, I don’t take every word of Charlotte Mason like the Bible. Even still, I think that her beliefs, especially considering how old they are, are very sound and impressive. As I mentioned above, I would choose not to use the word “obey”/”obedience” because of the negative connotations that it now has for so many people, but I also realize that when she wrote this it wasn’t the same problem. She gives me a lot of food for thought though. Most of it is not “new”, but rather a gentle encouragement that I am on the right track. That is so perfect, since that is what we are to do for our children as well