HippieMommy

posted by amanda on Apr 6

I am reading The Mission of Motherhood and thoroughly enjoying it. I really appreciate the way that she approaches motherhood, SAHMs, WAHMs, and WOHMs. I like how she doesn’t condemn or criticize, but she does make you think

I’ve recently been contemplating why it is that I want to finish several more degrees. What is driving me? Why is it important? Today on Starting Over, Iyanla Vanzant was talking about how men learn from institutions and women learn from other women, from experience, and from creativity. I thought that was an interesting quote. I am not saying that I necessarily agree with it (and no rules can apply to everyone), but it did make me think about how women have learned for thousands of years. To be fair, men haven’t always learned in institutions, but the learning styles do tend to be different. Then again, I seem to do a lot of things in masculine ways, LOL. My point is that this quote made me wonder if I really need a degree to learn or be “wise”.

So these thoughts have been pushing me to question what a computer or business degree will really do for my life and the life of my family. For now, the pursuit of education is taking away time from my family. Hearing my 4-year-old son say “I miss you when you’re at school, Mommy. It makes me sad.” is like putting a knife through my heart, and I am only gone 2 nights a week. My class doesn’t even start until their bedtime, but it still has an impact on their lives.

Plans are always changing, but right now I would ideally like to stay home and homeschool until my children are at least into their teen years, if not all the way through. In 15 years, when that is done (assuming I have no more kids), will a computer degree really have much impact? Wow, I’ll know what was hot and happening back in 2000. Woohoo! That’s real marketable. I’ve been working for years as a web designer without these degrees, so why would I need them all of the sudden?

If I wanted a degree to further advance my family, then I think a degree in literature, nutrition, or even nursing would be better.

If I am being completely honest, I want these degrees for my ego. That is the plain truth. I want everyone to know I’m smart. I don’t want people to think I’m a quitter. I want to be respected.

But what does God think of that? He obviously doesn’t care. He knows my intentions. He knows that it takes time from my children. I can’t imagine myself backing out now though, especially considering all of the time and money I’ve invested in my education. It’ll only cost more to finish though.

So… that’s been what my mind has been fighting for the past few months. On that note, I want to share a quote from The Mission of Motherhood.

This quote from Chapter 3 really blessed me today, so I thought I’d share. For anyone who hasn’t read the book, she’s just gone through quite a few pages about how she has chosen to work during times, and that many families need 2 working parents, but this quote is in reference to being a SAHM.

If a woman chooses to stay at home with her children, she has the opportunity of nursing her baby in the peacefulness of her own home, caressing her precious little one, singing sweet lullabies to comfort and please the child’s deepest emotional desires. She can offer them the restfulness of long, quiet naps in their own bedrooms. She has time to enrich the home environment with beautiful sights and smells-from the aromas of homemade soup bubbling on the stove to beautiful pictures in books-and arrange outings that foster budding intellects and awaken curiosity. And she has the flexibility to change her schedule to respond to teachable moments-those times when children’s natural curiosity leads them to question and learn.

Best of all, when a mother chooses to stay at home, she has the time and opportunity to craft the kind of relationship with her young children that only extended time together can foster. And from such a relationship she has a better chance of building a strong moral and spiritual foundation in the heart of her young child, teaching a system of truth and values without the constant challenge of authorities and peers whose lives are totally different. When these advantages are taken away from a child, how can we not count them as a loss to a whole generation of children who are hungry for direction, love, stability, and individual attention?

This chapter reminded me of how thankful I am for the time that I have with my children. If I was gone during the day, then they’d be at a daycare, where they could not get the same kind of attention. We have no family nearby or anyone else that could take them, and I can’t imagine missing these days with them. I am truly blessed and so thankful for my position.