posted by amanda on Apr 29
I decided to switch my skin for a little while. The old layout looked too fall-ish for me, but I’ll probably bring it back (or something similar) after summer is over 
Archive for April, 2006
posted by amanda on Apr 24
A few months ago, a friend of mine loaned me a few of her books, including Open Embrace by Sam and Bethany Torode. She told me that it was a really interesting book on Christians and birth control. We’ve been using FAM for the past year or so, so I was happy to borrow the book and see what it said.
As I started reading the book, I was a little put off because the authors seemed a little, well, starry-eyed. They wrote this book as newleyweds, and very young ones at that, and it reads like a book written by young newleyweds. 
I can say that in pure love, because I too was a young newleywed 5 years ago (when they wrote this book) and I can relate my feelings at the time to their feelings at the time.
So, all-in-all, I liked what they had to say, but wasn’t sure that it was completely applicable.
Today I was speaking to the friend who loaned me the book, and she let me know that Bethany and Sam Torode had published an open letter about the book and their new position. I’ve now seen their letter discussed several places on the internet, and I must say that I am pleased to see Christians out there growing, sharing, and willing to discuss where God is leading them. I know that my views on many important issues of faith have evolved, and I am sure that it is difficult to admit that your views have changed when you’ve published a book that holds a position so strongly.
It sounds as though they have now experienced some of the difficulties that come through NFP and have adjusted their stance as their life has changed. I think this is not only understandable, but shows their willingness to learn and evaluate their beliefs. I hope that they are well-supported and that this renewed discussion of NFP/FAM will lead more Christian men and women to investigate, research, and pray about their decisions to use (or not use) birth control. Their letter has not made me doubt their message in Open Embrace, but has instead given me more confidence in them
posted by amanda on Apr 23
Last night my friend and I attended a community dialogue on the media and our children. I don’t think we were really the “target audience”, since they told us a bunch of stuff we already know (there are pervs on myspace, virtual pimps in video games, and sad lyrics in songs). Still, I learned something from the lecture, so I’m pleased.
I’ve always known that I liked the way that my parents approached the media and our choices, but I couldn’t put my finger on what it was that was so great about it. I think I understand a little better now.
One of the books that was mentioned last night was Reel Sprituality. I am not endorsing it, since I haven’t read it, but there was one section that I liked. They talked about the different ways that the church reacts to films, ranging from avoidance to divine encounter. In between these 2 extremes were caution, dialogue, and appropriation, respectively. There are times where you will choose all (or most) of the options on this scale, but the goal for most of the time is “dialogue”. As you dialogue with both yourself and your family about the media, you would ask probing questions like “Why do I like this?”, “How do I relate?”, “What is the artist trying to tell me?”, etc.
My parents did an excellent job with this. We watched shows that a lot of other kids weren’t allowed to watch, and then our family would discuss them. It wasn’t necessarily a formal discussion, but it was brought up and probed when there were deeper issues that my parents wanted to discuss. My husband’s family was the opposite. He wasn’t allowed to watch the Simpsons, Married With Children, or any of the other popular shows back then. By the time we met in college, we were both huge fans of the Simpsons, so obviously his parents plan didn’t exactly work out
The thing is, whether you avoid everything or avoid nothing, you’re still going to end up with kids who need to make decisions for themselves once they get out in the world. They’ll have to decide what to avoid, what to watch, and how they will respond to it when they see it. If we don’t prepare them for that, then we are doing them a huge disservice.
I had kind of been slipping into more of an “avoidance” standpoint, even though I knew that it wasn’t where I ultimately wanted to go, so I’m glad that I was able to discuss and learn some more last night. I feel slightly better equipped to make decisions for our family, and my husband and I talked about it a lot last night, which was nice.
If you’ve read the book, or anything else on this topic, then I’d love to get a full review!
posted by amanda on Apr 20
This was listed in our local paper as the recipe of the week. The article says that you can use any jam or preserve. I had some cherry jam here and it turned out great!
2 1/2 cups Quaker Quick cooking oatmeal (I used regular though)
2 1/2 cups flour
Pinch salt
3/4 cup sugar
1 1/2 cups melted butter (I used earth balance to make this casein-free)
1 1/2 teaspoons Mexican vanilla (I omitted due to an allergy in the family)
1 12-ounce jar of raspberry preserves of the highest quality you can get
2 tablespoons Chambord liqueur, or water if you prefer
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Grease a 13×9x2 baking pan. Combine oats, flour, salt and sugar. Add melted butter and vanilla to dry ingredients. Combine until crumbly. Put about 3 cups of the oatmeal mixture into the bottom of your pan and press it down. Mix together the liqueur or water along with the preserves/jam. Spread the jam mixture over the oatmeal mixture. Sprinkle the remaining oatmeal mixture on top of the preserves and press it down to make it even. Bake 18-23 minutes or until the top is very brown. Cool on rack and cut into bars. Store in an airtight container.
posted by amanda on Apr 20
As an AP parent, I think I am constantly trying to figure out the balance between being there for my kids vs. crowding my kids and not giving them a chance to explore and grow on their own. I start to feel guilty if I am not interacting with them at all times, and yet I know that they really benefit from time to just explore and learn. This passage from “Home Education” made me smile because it includes a pretty good description of our day. I am often knitting, reading, cross-stitching, ect., while they play outside. I sit on the patio and watch them as they play, but I sometimes feel guilty as though I should be directing their play more. This passage gave me a little extra persmission to relax
Oh, and I initially read it as though she was saying that the mom should “check” the childrens attempts to discuss, but she’s actually talking about checking the MOTHERS attempts. Duh.
There are few things sweeter and more precious to the child than playful prattle with her mother; but one thing is better–the communing with the larger Mother, in order to which the child and she should be left to themselves. This is, truly, a delightful thing to watch: the mother reads her book or knits her sock, checking all attempts to make talk; the child stares up into a tree, or down into a flower–doing nothing, thinking of nothing; or leads a bird’s life among the branches, or capers about in aimless ecstasy;–quite foolish, irrational doings, but, all the time a fashioning is going on: Nature is doing her part, with the vow–
“This child I to myself will take:
She shall be mine, and I will make
A lady of my own.” [Wordsworth]
posted by amanda on Apr 6
I came to a disturbing revelation today.
I was a queen bee.
As I was browsing through the library today, I saw a copy of Rosalind Wiseman’s Queen Bees and Wannabes, which made me very excited, because I’ve been wanting to read it for years. I remember when she was first on the Oprah show, and I was completely fascinated. I couldn’t wait to read the book and hate all of the Queen Bees.
Then once I started reading, I realized that my school life was split right down the middle. From 3rd until 7th grade, I attended a small private school. We moved in 8th grade, and I went to public school from then until I was done with high school.
In high school I was definitely not a Queen Bee. Our school was far too big to contain just one Queen Bee anyways. After reading all of Ms. Wiseman’s classifications, I think I was a “Floater” in high school. I had a lot of friends, including popular friends, but I was neither here nor there. I think I fit her description of
You can usually spot this girl because she doesn’t asasociate with only one clique. She has friends in different groups and can move freely among them.
She goes on to describe the floater as being nothing extraordinary… not the prettiest, but pretty; not the smartest, but smart… I definitely wasn’t a “target”, wasn’t under a Queen Bee, and wasn’t a “wannabe” (since I can’t even figure out who the Queen Bee was in our school), so “Floater” makes the most sense.
So then the disturbing part came for me. I was still trying to figure out where I fit in middle school. I was reading the Queen Bee description, and thinking how she sounded like a royal *****. Then I realized how much of it was me.
- Her friends do what she wants to do
- She isn’t intimidated by any other girl in her class
- You have to convince her to invite everyone to her birthday party
- She can argue anyone down, including friends, peers, teachers, and parents
- She can make another girl feel “anointed” by declaring her a special friend
- She won’t (or is very reluctant to) take responsibility when she hurts someone’s feelings
- If she thinks she’s been wronged, she feels she has the right to seek revenge
I feel like such an ass. How did I not realize this? As soon as I thought about it, a million things flooded back that proved this - things that I’d be embarassed to share. I am certainly not this way anymore, but this is a short list of things that I have had to work on in my life. These were the main issues that even plagued my relationships with men when I was younger - especially the part about not wanting to take responsibility when hurting someone.
Then I flipped back to where Ms. Wiseman says when speaking of the Queen Bee claiming that she is in a clique, but it is not mean
…she honestly believes what she’s saying…
So I did the only logical thing: I called people who knew me back then. Guess what they said when I asked them what I was… Yep, a Queen Bee.
I guess I can be thankful that I was knocked off of that rank when I was young. At least I wasn’t that way all the way through. Queen Bees can change, right?
So have any of you read the book? If so, what role did you fall into? Was it the same all the way through?
posted by amanda on Apr 6
I am reading The Mission of Motherhood and thoroughly enjoying it. I really appreciate the way that she approaches motherhood, SAHMs, WAHMs, and WOHMs. I like how she doesn’t condemn or criticize, but she does make you think
I’ve recently been contemplating why it is that I want to finish several more degrees. What is driving me? Why is it important? Today on Starting Over, Iyanla Vanzant was talking about how men learn from institutions and women learn from other women, from experience, and from creativity. I thought that was an interesting quote. I am not saying that I necessarily agree with it (and no rules can apply to everyone), but it did make me think about how women have learned for thousands of years. To be fair, men haven’t always learned in institutions, but the learning styles do tend to be different. Then again, I seem to do a lot of things in masculine ways, LOL. My point is that this quote made me wonder if I really need a degree to learn or be “wise”.
So these thoughts have been pushing me to question what a computer or business degree will really do for my life and the life of my family. For now, the pursuit of education is taking away time from my family. Hearing my 4-year-old son say “I miss you when you’re at school, Mommy. It makes me sad.” is like putting a knife through my heart, and I am only gone 2 nights a week. My class doesn’t even start until their bedtime, but it still has an impact on their lives.
Plans are always changing, but right now I would ideally like to stay home and homeschool until my children are at least into their teen years, if not all the way through. In 15 years, when that is done (assuming I have no more kids), will a computer degree really have much impact? Wow, I’ll know what was hot and happening back in 2000. Woohoo! That’s real marketable. I’ve been working for years as a web designer without these degrees, so why would I need them all of the sudden?
If I wanted a degree to further advance my family, then I think a degree in literature, nutrition, or even nursing would be better.
If I am being completely honest, I want these degrees for my ego. That is the plain truth. I want everyone to know I’m smart. I don’t want people to think I’m a quitter. I want to be respected.
But what does God think of that? He obviously doesn’t care. He knows my intentions. He knows that it takes time from my children. I can’t imagine myself backing out now though, especially considering all of the time and money I’ve invested in my education. It’ll only cost more to finish though.
So… that’s been what my mind has been fighting for the past few months. On that note, I want to share a quote from The Mission of Motherhood.
This quote from Chapter 3 really blessed me today, so I thought I’d share. For anyone who hasn’t read the book, she’s just gone through quite a few pages about how she has chosen to work during times, and that many families need 2 working parents, but this quote is in reference to being a SAHM.
If a woman chooses to stay at home with her children, she has the opportunity of nursing her baby in the peacefulness of her own home, caressing her precious little one, singing sweet lullabies to comfort and please the child’s deepest emotional desires. She can offer them the restfulness of long, quiet naps in their own bedrooms. She has time to enrich the home environment with beautiful sights and smells-from the aromas of homemade soup bubbling on the stove to beautiful pictures in books-and arrange outings that foster budding intellects and awaken curiosity. And she has the flexibility to change her schedule to respond to teachable moments-those times when children’s natural curiosity leads them to question and learn.
Best of all, when a mother chooses to stay at home, she has the time and opportunity to craft the kind of relationship with her young children that only extended time together can foster. And from such a relationship she has a better chance of building a strong moral and spiritual foundation in the heart of her young child, teaching a system of truth and values without the constant challenge of authorities and peers whose lives are totally different. When these advantages are taken away from a child, how can we not count them as a loss to a whole generation of children who are hungry for direction, love, stability, and individual attention?
This chapter reminded me of how thankful I am for the time that I have with my children. If I was gone during the day, then they’d be at a daycare, where they could not get the same kind of attention. We have no family nearby or anyone else that could take them, and I can’t imagine missing these days with them. I am truly blessed and so thankful for my position.
posted by amanda on Apr 5
It seems like everytime my MIL comes to visit, she manages to pack 5lbs on me, and everytime she leaves I have to diet to get it off 
With her last visit, my 5lbs came back, and I’ve been trying to get rid of it for the past month. Last week it finally surrendered and left my hips! Yay!
So for the last month I’ve been tracking my calories and exercise on sparkpeople.com (which chooses to sometimes go by sparkspeople.com (plural) for reasons that confuse me). Anyways, I just wanted to post here because I really love it, and it has given me such an awareness about my eating habits. I would recommend it to anyone who is interested in losing or maintaining a healthy weight. For your strength training days it tells you what exercises to do and it also provides meal plans, but you can turn off either of these options. I choose to use my own foods, so I turn off the meal plans, but I have gotten some yummy ideas from their menus.
Please be encouraged if you’re fighting a few (or more) pounds that don’t want to leave. You can do it - its just a matter of math!
ETA: And if you sign up and feel so inclined, then please consider listing me as the person who referred you. I don’t get a free gift or anything like that, but it gives more points to our little GCM group that we formed there My username is punkie4god.